What to Consider doing When Initiating a Break Up

Break-up is never easy.  It is such a sad event that if we could have our way, no one would want to travel down the break-up road.  But sometimes it is inevitably necessary and the only option available.  But in as much as it is quite difficult not to be acrimonious when ending a relationship, there are certain things the partner ending the relationship should try to do to soften the devastating effects that entail break-ups:
 

Ø  Never end a relationship without giving your partner the true reasons behind your decision.  Be totally frank about your feelings and your reasons for wanting to break up with them.

 

Ø  Never allow a third party be the one to communicate your decision to break-up with your partner to them.  Third party here could be your friend, relative, text message, phone call, the social media, etc.  Tell it to your partner in person because they deserve to be accorded that respect.

 

Ø  Do not push blames.  The decision to breakup should solely be yours.  And do not prolong the discussion.

 

Ø  Be compassionate, courteous, and empathic as much as possible as this was someone you once loved.  Also chose your words to communicate your decision to your partner.  Remember it could be the other way round.  Try not to be excited about it because it is a sadder event for your partner than it is for you since you must have had time to think over your decision while to them it is sudden.

 

Ø  There’s no guarantee your partner will be calm all through – if they were the violent one during your relationship, then, for safety reasons, never meet with them alone to declare your decision to end the relationship.

 

Ø  Thank them for the good times you had together – do this without raising a false hope in them that you could get back together again if you are sure of what you want. It will be important to get a firm decision in place to follow the break up through as your partner may want you to give them another chance.

 

Ø  Although you are the one ending it, there’s no guarantee you will remain emotionally unscathed.  Therefore, you must be ready, or have a plan in place on how, to cope with the vacuum that the separation will create until you’ve healed enough to fill it up.