What You Need to Know if You Own a Fake Facebook Profile

I don't know of any good enough reason to own a fake Facebook account but I doubt if my opinion counts.

 

Fake Facebook Profiles: Are They Legal? Can I Get in Trouble?

 

In August of 2012, CNN reported that there were currently over 83 MILLION fake / impostor Facebook profiles as of that time - and that Facebook was working hard to rid their site of these frauds.

 

Crime #1: Violation of Facebook Terms

 

Facebook Terms state that each individual can only have one account. In a quote from Facebook: "Facebook is a community where people share and interact using their real identities. When everyone uses their real name"

So, as soon as you create a fake profile, you are entering information that is not your real identity. This fake information does not contain your real employment, relationship or other statuses:

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and as soon as you type in this "fraudulent" information, you have officially violated Facebook Terms.

 

Crime #2: Misrepresentation

 

Honestly, violating Facebook Terms is really the least of the issues you can face. The heavy-hitters come when you begin breaking the law Criminally and/or Civilly.

The moment you upload photos of the "fake" individual, you have commited one or more crime.

 

If the photo is someone you found through a google search or took off someone elses profile, you have just:

 

1. Misrepresented your Identity,

2. Stolen interlectual Property and

3. Possibly commited Identity Theft.

Let's start with Misrepresentation.

Misrepresentation is legally referred to as "An assertion or manifestation by words or conduct that is not in accord with the facts."

What this means is that if you are John Doe and you live in Alabama and work as a fence rapir man and you create a profile claiming to be Jimmy Smith who lives in Michigan and works for Ford Motor Company; you have outright misreprensented facts: the "facts" are you are NOT Jimmy Smith, you do NOT live in Michigan and you do NOT work for Ford Motor Company.

The misrepresentation builds even further when you begin corrosponding with others acting as Jimmy Smith.

 

Misrepresentation is a Civil "Tort" as opposed to a "crime". Misrepresentation becomes punishable civally when it creates Loss for the listener/reader. 

 

Crime #2: Stolen Property (Images) Copyright Infringement

 

The photo(s) you pulled from the internet are not your property to use (unless you have purchased stock images, yet the terms of stock image site also state that images cannot be used in manners that violate the law - in which case, creating a false identity would be a violation of the law). Regardless, you did not take the photos, the photos are not of you and someone else DID take the photos.

 

Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”) enacted in 1998, prevents others from using images or "work" in general without the permission from the author.

Legal Punishments for Copyright Infringement:

 

YOU will be fully responsible for ALL fees incured by the individual who had to incur Loss in efforts to get you to take down their photos.

The route the individual you ripped off the pics from is up to that individual. They may choose to do one or more of the following:

1. Hire a Lawyer to send you a Cease and Desist Letter and demand you remove the photos (this is providing the individual knows who you are). The costs to retain the lawyer and have the letter sent to you can range from $800 - $2,000 depending on how much effort went into locating you and the lawyers' hourly rates.

2. Hire a Lawyer and file a legal case. This can be big, big bucks. If the Lawyer needs to send subpoenas to Facebook to obtain your information and so on, you could be looking at owing $8,000+.

3. U.S. law states that you are entitled to actual or statutory damages for infringement as provided by 17 U.S.C. Chapter 5, specifically section 504. The damages that you can receive from infringement can amount to 3x the licensing fee for images - so if you happened to rip off an image that was licensed; you could face even more fees. Civil penalties ("damages") for a licensed image can leave the pirate on the hook for up to $150,000 for each misused photo.

4. Even copyright infriengement cases of NON LICENSED images have resulted in judgements of over $2,000 plus court costs.

 

Crime #3: Identity Theft

 

Whether you purposely use someone else's identity as shown in court cases, or you just "make a fake identity", you are operating as an identity that is not your own identity and therefore is likely to cause confusion in addition to harm.

In the case that you make a fake facebook profile with the direct intention of using someone else's real identity; let's say you make a fake profile claiming to be me, or a celebrity or even a co-worker - you have now committed identity theft. Court cases have already issued jail sentences for Fake Facebook profiles; in this particular case, a woman was sentenced to 18 months in jail for her Fake Facebook Profile she created to get back at her ex boyfriend.

Or, let's say, by pretending to be Jimmy Smith who works for Ford in Michigan....there indeed does happen to be a Jimmy Smith who works for Ford in Michigan and due to your fake profile, Jimmy Smith is now suspended or terminated (pending a full investigation); you may owe Jimmy Smith his salary in addition to legal fees.

Your Partner is Emotionally Abusive If....

Do you often feel your partner is abusing you emotionally but aren't sure?  Emotional abuse, unlike it's physical counterpart, can be harder to identify because it mostly slowly creeps into a relationship without either partner realizing it. Often, the abuser isn’t even aware of what they are doing and would most likely deny it if it were brought to their attention.

 

An emotionally abusive partner desires to manipulate you in order to constantly control you. They often don’t want to hurt you, but their controlling nature makes them act out in a way that is mentally and emotionally harmful.

 

This is not an exhaustive list, but you are in an emmotionally abusive relationship if:

• You feel that you can’t self-express freely with your partner, or you have to tread extra carefully, (something akin to “walking on eggshells”) whenever you attempt to express yourself to them.
• Your partner frequently expresses jealousy, and ensures you don't engage in normal interactions with the opposite sex.
• Your partner frequently yells at you, criticizes you, or undermines your self-esteem.
• Your partner keeps you from your friends, family and support groups outside of the relationship.
• Practically "stalks" you (you have "accidentally" run into them where you are and least expect to find them there, severally caught them monitoring your email or internet usage or they question every phone call or text message you receive).
• Your partner alludes to the possibility of harming you or your loved ones if you “betrayed” or left them.
• Your partner implies that if you were to leave them, they may commit suicide or engage in other self-harming activity.

The above points are just meant to serve as pointers to the trends of an emotionally abusive relationship. Regarding the last bullet point — threats of suicide — it is an especially manipulative tactic. If your partner holds their potential suicide over their head, they are essentially attempting to take you hostage. You need to bring in a third party if they resort to this or any other form of violence.

 

Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, and can lead to:

• Chronic anxiety,
• Depression,
• Stress,
• Constant feelings of fear,
• Post-traumatic stress disorder.

If you realized you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, then you need to get help and also get out; and you need to do so real fast. Your partner’s yelling, constant criticism, “freaking out,” etc.,  are not “quirks” you should tolerate.

 

There are two immediate steps you should take:

 

1) Realize that this situation is NOT OK and can’t go on any longer. Don’t kid yourself it will change anytime soon because it never does.

 

2) You need to create some space for you to get your mind back. Do whatever you can to create some physical and psychological space. Once you’re away from your partner’s controlling domain and able to find refuge with family and friends, you’ll gain the perspective you need to take the steps to leave.

Alec Baldwin's Stalker Genevieve Sabourin's Messages to the Actor

Genevieve Sabourin, speaks to the press after testifying in defense of harrassing Alec Baldwin, on Nov. 12, 2013 at 100 Centre Street in Manhattan

What went on in the stalker mind of Genevieve Sabourin (Unedited)...

 

OCTOBER 15, 2011; SABOURIN SAYS SHE CHANGED HER ENTIRE LIFE FOR BALDWIN, 'A MAGNIFICENT MAN'

 

Speaking of losing battles.... I'm not driving to NY today, Marty is not available.

But regardless of that, he knows what I need to discuss,he agree and understand and we will do it over the phone tonight.
 
I may had lost all the battles to win your heart over in the past 2 years...but Ive learn so much.
 
I learn even more about the magnificent man you are...about your objectives, your goals and your MISSION.
 
I see clearly the path you are on, your quest, your challenges. I believe with all my hearth and soul I'm the best women to get you there! That's my only mission.
 
I got to know you so much better since those longs months without you and I know that words are not has meaningful to you then actions can be.
 
So stand by and be ready...I'm going to be fully available in only one phone call...Hope you will finally be there for me, because nothing else matters to me.
 
I gave up everything for you, I've change my inter life for you and knowing what I know now, I. would do it anytime again to be with you. Only, I would do it faster then 12 years.
 
I really hope you will be there for me. My heart is telling me..yes!





OCTOBER 30,2011: SABOURIN SAYS HILARIA 'DESIRES WHAT I LOVE'

If I go to yoga classes, it bother her, if I recycle she complain and put non recycling object in the bin to detroy the process.
 
If I talce care of my self, health and beauty she put me down.
 
If I love my car, my dog ...anything...she want it for her possession. She desire what I love.
 
If I demonstrate interest in weeding cake, dresses ceremonial ...she tell me loud she would never pay a cent for me...
 
If l am calme ready, learning and in peace with myself...she bring the full chaos on!!!
 
Her words to me are contant mocking,complain and putting me down...so before I've swallowed it to a point that only asthma attact could be a relief and then I've defended my self to a point that we could ended up physical toward each other...and now...I want out! I want something heathy in my life.
 
I know wisdom person can stay focus and center in a chaos and It's surly a learning that is important/valuable to achieve. I understand that well.
 

But it enough now...I need a reward of all my work and accomplishments. I need you to marry me today and take me to USA.

NOVEMBER 11, 2011: SABOURIN WILL TAKE BALDWIN TO 'NIRVANA' BECAUSE THE FRENCH ARE THE BEST LOVERS IN THE WORLD

Accept my proposal and I will take you strait to heaven.
 

There is many things I would do to you now in order to give you all kinds of delightful pleasure..
 
French are the best lovers in the world and I master my art.
 
Let me talce you to nirvana...now and for etemety

NOVEMBER 21, 2011: SABOURIN'S LIST OF REQUIREMENTS SHE WILL NEED TO BE BALDWIN'S PARTNER

Can you see that all am asking is in fact for you, for your project, for your benefit?

You have nothing to loose, accept and start walking into your path NOW!
 
In order to get you there I need:

 
-Alliance in all aspect.
- a new house in NY and MTL.
-a new wardrobe, car and jewels ...all of what I need to fonction.
-the best ccm and care to up grade and maintain my youth, health and beauty.
-travels
-Financial security and independence
-your public, personal and sincere reconnaissance, commitment and respect.
-your fidelity.
-options to grow, learn, evolve and create.
-care for my mother ( so I couLd have peace of mind)...

 
Inreturn ...
 
I will become the most sexy, beautiful and exiting women you never had.
 
I will nourish you with my energy, power and magic...I will give you all.
 
I will take you where you need to be to become the man you dream of being.

and more...

MARCH 4, 2012: SABOURIN WILL 'MAKE ALEC SO HAPPY AND BE THE BEST ALLIE HE CAN HAVE'

 

I will make you so happy.

 

I will listen, observe and learn from you constantly, I will be aware, focus and very serious about all of this.

 

I will be highly fonctionnal in the security needs of your reality and I will be the best allies you could ever have, you've train me to be aware and I've learn well, I am ready to start now.

But just before...

I need to rest few days with you by my side in order to stop this high tension mode, finally sleep, lost few pounds from stress and be radiant again.
 
I need to get my magical smile back, my sexy figure and sparkling eyes back for our project and only your presence will fix it for me now.

Imagine a get away together on a beach with good healthy food, a lot of water, long walk, massages, beauty threaments... and a comfortable bed ...just you and I very privately.
 
I would then be the most beautiful/happy women alive.
 
That's truly what I want and need to be happy today and regain my beauty and health. So we could then start for real.

MARCH 13, 2012: SABOURIN WANTS TO MAKE A 'MINI BALDWIN' WITH ALEC ON ST PATRICK'S DAY

it is the begaining of spring in Montreal. The air, the grass, the nature..everuthing smell and feel different, new and alive now.
 
I want to be naked in your bed and make love with you all night and every mornings.
 
I want to feel you, taste you and make one with you for eternity.
 
I will be in the prime of my ovulation on this St-Patrick day and for me, the best gift from you above all, will be to conceive a mini-Baldwin on this Ireland national day.
 
The pleasures will be immense, unique..and absolute and the result will be perfect.
 
I'm burning of desire for you and Ican't restraint my body anymore.
 
I'm now totally all yours.

MARCH 20, 2012: SABOURIN THREATENS TO COME TO HIS WIFE'S WORK AND THEIR HAMPTONS HOME

You when on and on, on a massive destructive war with Kim..and it will never end between you 2.

Do you wishes to establish the same type of relationship with me?If you do, you'll be surprise to realize that 'I'm smarter, more efficient, much more creative...and more ressourcesful then Kim.
 
If That prior war with KB was hard enough on you to ended up writing a book about it, if you choose to maintain and escalade this conflict with me, instead of choosing reconciliation, then be prepare to write the Bible.
 
I want peace and I need it...but what do you truly need now? Tell me what you want??

 
This has been 2years of massive destruction for nothing. Now I might as well be constructively destructive, at lest in it, there is hope. I'm coming, be prepare...
 
Call the FBI and tell them that by tomorrow I'll be in front of the Devonshire building,the Eldorado just in case..., both Yoga vida studios, the Silvercup studios...,weekend in Amagansett. ..letterm all!!!
 
And I will buy expensive tickets to all events, evenings , gala where you will be...we will fix this situation now! I'm coming to NY! !!! I'm packing my car now...
 
I'm not afraid of loosing all because I already decide I lost you 2 years ago.
 
Go ahead and trow me to jail... or simply .do better then KIM and help me kindly.

MARCH 20, 2012: SABOURIN IS WILLING TO SPEND ALL HER MONEY TO FIND ALEC BALDWIN

Ok, you put an end to this suffering or..I'll simply continue following my heart, not my head.
 
I'm ready to move to NY with or without your help but, for one reason and one only... Not the town, not acting, not the park.or anything this place got to offer..no,
 
My heart and soul is in NY because you are there!!!
 
So I now calculate that I could financially last 2 months and if things go accordingly to what I expect money wise, I could last 4months/ 4 and 1/2 months before eating up my house equity ..
 
It's enough to accidentally bump into you fews times and make this all better between us.
 
l'ill follow my heart all the way to the last beat of it. It's not craziness or stubumess it's real true love and it hurt truly! !
 
I won't have income and l'ill spend it all to find a way thru you, thru your heart, simply because it's the right thing to do. I want lo do what's right! !
 
I'm leaving today for NY, will squat on friends coach and find a room to sublet...and l'ill find you and fix thing between us, no matter what it will coast me.
 
You can cal I the FBI and put me to jail or call me and help me out with this. I'm leaving for New York now!!!

MARCH 20, 2012: SABOURIN THREATENS TO 'STRAIGHTEN BALDWIN'S ASS OUT'

I've got an easy access inside the Eldorado and the Devonshire building ( less then 6 degrees of separation ..like with my friend Peter Forbs)
 
I've got IEB adress ad road to get there and I've got many free Air Canada flight ticket to get there, plus free car rental to drive up there and wait.
 
I will change my name and take yoga classes you know where and I'll become HLT best friend, faster then you know...l'll use her ego.
 
I will use my very good contact in NBC universal to be INSIDE I will works in Silvercup studio and be INSIDE
 
I will get to you not to stuck you, hurt you or harm you in any way....but simply to straiten your ass out, because you have humiliated me for the last time!! I'm coming!! thoughtless little kim basinger wanna be!

 
and the only valuable thing I'm not bringing with me in the big apple, Is a copy of all our e-mails and conversations we had since day one.
 
I've secure them in a safe at the bank, so your FBI and tile international press,could realize that it is a dance we did both dance together since YOUR first phone call...
 
I'll indeed forward directly those infos to many very good journalist friends of mine, in need of a scoop, if ever anything bad would happen to me, someone have the key double of my bank safe and the bank VP ( a friend) receive a letter from me giving access to this friend to my safe account and have instruction to give the info to our media friends.
 
Will you be ready now to negociate peace or should I go on with all of this?? Stop being a "monster like Kim" and be you for God sake...it time now!
 
It take an evil, twisted and very sick mind to Keep a father away from his child. Above all it take a selfish an narcissistic person to be insensible for years to so much pain,hurt..desperation.

I pity Kim for being such monster... But you are not like •that. It's now time to put an end to all this pain and move on into betters days together.

Prove me right by picking me up today, I can no longer stand on my feet. I need your help now.

MARCH 20, 2012: SABOURIN THREATENS A PUBLIC SHOWDOWN WITH ALEC AT THE NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC SPRING GALA

I'm getting myself invited on march 26 to the "The New York Philharmonic Spring Gala" !!!

I'm working on a magnificent dress and jewels loans with my contacts... I'll to die for!

I'll be there and I'll meet with you....luck enough, we could be sitting at the same table? Do you want this to happen in an non-cntrol place and time at any given moment like a bad surprise, in front of many people???

Or will you prefer to be the man I know you are and do this meeting in a much better,private and respectful way??

It's not my intention to draw medias attention into a public scene and argumentations with you...but I need to meet with you now and I haven't been successful any other way.

I'll do what ever it"s require to get this time to fix it with you and regain my self respect, a peace of mind.., above-all my dignity and the right to trust, love and live again..

Believe me I won't be a poor little girl treated as a stucker by you, coming at you defenceles on the 26.

No, the man inviting me is even more "big" and powerful then you are in the entertainement industry and you have many mutuals friends in common...he will be able to spread my side of this story on my behafe to those you both know, if any drama would happen there.

You will not be able to have security people mistreated me and trow me out of this Gala. We will then be on equal grown to negociate this peace.

Should I go all the way there and force you to be a respectful gentleman, or will you accept to do this in better circomstances??

BTW: he won't give my name as is date, I'll be name as his guess in the confirmation list...so I can keep the surprise and beLieve me , you will be surpriseD!! a lot!!

Then you will know what I'm really made of!

Instead of force and drama, pick a place and a time for us to meet tonight or tomorrow and I'll be fully and peacefully available to you in order to discuss, understand and forgive for all that happen between us. Then we will both leave in peace and move on.

 



Actor Alec Baldwin leaves criminal court in New York, Tuesday, Nov. 12, 2013.
Baldwin testified Tuesday that he never had a sexual or romantic
relationship with Canadian actress Genevieve Sabourin



 

 

Read the entire story:  Here

Culled from www.dailymail.co.uk

My Verdict: Foluke Daramola = #Doormat. Period!

Hmmmm..... wonders, they say, shall never end o!

It is recently reported that popular Nollywood actress, Foluke Daramola-Salako, who married top Lagos socialite, Kayode Salako in a controversial way (it's alleged she used "juju" to snatch the guy from his now ex-wife Bukola), allegedly said she won't leave her husband even if he impregnates another woman.

 

Shuo?!

 

My verdict:  Only a hugely insecure woman would make such a statement.  Obviously, this marriage is a carwreck waiting to happen.  BUT if Foluke chooses to make a #doormat of herself, who are we to to go against her choice?

 

Dear Kayode, you have the green card now to do as you please oooo. if you have been 'cutting corners' before secretly, you are now free to go public.  Enjoy while the offer lasts! Shikenan!

 

Just let not Foluke come wailing for help when Kayode's baby mamas begin to pour out from the 'four corners' of the earth o!

 

I don talk my own.

What You Should Never Do on Facebook If You are in A Healthy Relationship

Facebook is an online social networking service and it's mission is to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected.  The use of Facebook is spreading like wild fire amongst young and old, male and females of every race.  While you are free to share whatever pleases you on Facebook, it is important to know where to draw the line especially if you are in aa relationship.

 

If you are in a happy relationship, there are things you should never do on Facebook to ensure the relationship stays healthy and happy.

 

1.  Do not hide things from your partner

If you find yourself not wanting you partner to find out who you are chatting with online, it means something is wrong.  The likelihood is that you are emotionally cheating on your partner and this could affect your relationship as your partner could begin to distrust you.

 

2.  Do not befriend someone of the opposite sex your partner is uncomfortable with

If your partner isn't comfortable with you making friends with your ex or flirting dangerously with a member of the opposite sex, then respect their wish(es).  Do not engage in online behaviours that will feed your partner's insecurities or threaten your relationship.

 

Do not be Facebook friends with an ex either; never accept requests from them in order to protect your current happy relationship.

 

3.  Do not keep photos of your ex(es)

Do you still keep photos of your ex(es)?  Even if you do not go back and look at them, some of your partner's friends might.  As a sign of respect to your new relationship, delete or at least 'lock up' old online mementos of your past relationships.

 

4.  Do not change your relationship status without first talking to your partner .

Make sure your relationship is serious enough for you to reflect it in your online status.  Also relationship status change should be discussed before you effect any online changes.  Let your partner know what you are about to do and seek their opinion and agreement before changing your status.

 

5.  Do not conceal your relationship status

If your Facebook page has zero evidence that you are in a committed relationship, if there are no links that hint at your being attached and your partner wants to be acknowledged, then show them that you are proud to be with them. At the same time let your flirtatious Facebook-ers know that certain online behaviours are off limits by occasionally nodding towards your significant other.

 

6.  Do not add your partner's family on Facebook or their Facebook friends as your friends before meeting them

If you've never met or be in any kind of contact with any of your partner's Facebook friends or their family, do not attempt to add them as friends.  It's just so creepy.

 

7.  Do not complain about your partner or make your private altercations public

If you are in a real relationship you will do well to have a real conversation with your partner.  Seek to resolve conflicts in person and not online.  Do not humiliate your partner before the entire Facebook world.

 

8.  Do not Gush too much about your partner

Yes, you are in love and it's great.  But use the terms of endearments for your partner in moderation. Do not bombard your readers with endless status updates of endearments.  Mostly, you only succeed in inciting some 'eye-rolling' from your friends who secretly laugh at you or wonder what has taken over you.

 

9.  Do not post racy pictures

Unless your partner doesn't oppose, do not post near-nude photos of you or of your partner online.  Neither upload unflattering images of them either without their consent as this could lead to the end of your relationship.

 

10.  Do not have a shared Facebook Profile

This will be taking the 'two-become-one' thing too far.  Your becoming 'one' does not mean you should lose your individuality.  Your friends, work colleagues, boss, etc., will never really know who they are talking to if you have a shared Facebook profile.

Is your partner clingy? Watch out - they're most likely to be having an affair, says new study



Anxiety: Those who fear abandonment are more likely to cheat and be cheated on by their partner

You might think that a clingy partner would be least likely to stray - but you'd be wrong, according to a new study.

 

In fact, people who are insecure and find it hard to trust are themselves more likely to cheat.

 

The research, which was conducted by a team at Florida State University and reported in journal Psychology Today, looked at 200 newly married couples over a period of four years.

 

Security: Relationships with parents informed future behaviour with romantic partners

During the study, participants were regularly asked to complete a survey that questioned their feelings towards their partner and how secure in the relationship they felt.

 

Those who displayed needy behaviour and were anxious about being abandoned by their partner were more likely to themselves cheat.

 

Interestingly, the same was found to be true of the spouses of those who feared abandonment.

 

The findings have been attributed to another psychological theorem that deals with attachment styles, which are formed during childhood.

 

Those who enjoyed a stable relationship with their parents develop a 'secure' attachment style which, as an adult, translates to being able to trust that partners will care for them and will make their wellbeing a priority.

 

By contrast, those who have insecure attachment styles either fear abandonment or battle to retain their independence in a bid to avoid being rejected.

 

According to Michelle Russell, the psychologist who led the study, those who fear abandonment are both more likely to cheat and be cheated on, as well as displaying more neediness within a relationship.

 

'Attachment anxiety produces enough of a threat to intimacy to motivate spouses to seek out alternative partners,' she explains.

 

Interestingly, the same wasn't true for those with the other form of insecure attachment style - greater independence - who were found instead to be the least likely to cheat.

 

Source:  www.dailymail.co.uk

You Love Your Partner 'Too Much' If….

It is very normal to feel attracted to someone and want to spend every minute with them.  You think nothing else but them and when you are not together you send little ‘I miss you’, ‘Are you okay’, messages.  What is abnormal is finding yourself nursing these feelings or ddoing more of the message sending than receiving, that is if you receive any at all.   Also, the more you feel in love the less you feel loved and the more you want closeness the more your partner distances themselves.  Deep within you a certain warnng bell occasionaly peals, telling you something is wrong but you elect not to pay attention to it.

 

The real trouble is you love your partner more than they love you.  You wonder if it is possible to love too much? This may sound absurd, but the answer is yes it is possible.  When you love someone so much more than they love you, that translates to loving too much and by doing so you set the stage for that person to reject you.  It's like pressuring someone to eat food even though they are not hungry or coercing them into eating food they don't really like and then question their lack of enthusiasm.

 

You should know you love your partner too much if:

 

1.  You want to talk to them almost every time or want to see them every few days but, unlike you, they are able to go very long periods without talkng to you or seeing you and it doesn't bother them.

 

2.  Your thoughts keep moving from "my partner loves me so much" to "does my partner feel anything for me...? Maybe I should just call the relationship off.

 

3.  They seem extraordinarily independent and this drives you nuts.  They even make you feel you could have sex with someone else and it wouldn't matter one bit to them.

 

4.  You feel empty and unloved even when you are with them and feel emptier and insecure when you are away from them.

 

5.  Most of your time is consumed thinking of this special person and strategising on what you will say or do, how and when you will say or do it, just to make them see that you are meant for each other.

 

6.  You live for their love and in moments of insecurity you try to squeeze out some words or actions that reassure you that they love you and are there to stay but deep inside, you know that putting pressure on them is the worst thing to do.

 

7.  You want to and actually do talk about the relationship more than they want to.  And many of your talks about the relationship leave you feeling more insecure, depressed, second rate and unlovable.

 

8. There is another man or woman in the picture and your partner can't seem to get themselves to end the relationship with that other man or woman.  You can see that they are genuinely conficted because they love they other person too or even love them more than they do you.

 

9.  You feel like you are getting mixed signals from them.  You probably are.  One moment they are open and want to be close and the next their words and actions seem to say "I need my space" or "leave me alone; you are pressuring me."

 

10.  You are trying so badly to please them and you do things to show them that you are deeply in love and, in the process, you lose your spontaneity to the point that you are becoming increasingly "too serious" and "overly sensitive".

Related Post:  You Will Be Taken for Granted If....
 

11.  One moment you find yourslef unable to refrain from telling them that they are unfair, selfish, insensitive, unmotivated, unpolished, boorish, depressed, etc., and the next you are professing your undying love and desire for a committed relationship.

 

12.  You have sex with them because you think that that's what they want.  You hope and pray that the closeness of sex will bring the two of you closer to each other but it only make you feel used.

13.  You are constantly rationalizing the negatives and straining to believe them even when what they are saying defies simple common sense.

14.  You are obsessed with trying to interpret, understand and clarify their every word and action.  You are constantly searching for internet articles, asking friends and even strangers what they think:  "does my partner love me or not?"

15.  You constantly feel you are the powerless clinger while they are in total control of their life and the course of the relationship.

16.  Your assessment of where the relationship is at is different from theirs.  And when you point this out to them, they say you are making them feel pressured for something they can't give or aren't ready for.

17.  The last time you tried to back away a little to gain some perspective on the relationship, you could not pull that one through.  You got so scared that a little distance might end the relationship completely.

18.  Your anxiety is always on the high side; you are really afraid that the relationship might end (and expecting it to) anytime soon.  There's a part of you that just wants to end it all, that actually wants them to leave so that you can regain your lost power; yet you are frightened of that prospect too.

Opinions Regarding the Use of Pornography in Marriage

There are some very strong opinions regarding the effects of pornography on marriage. While couples are certainly free to do whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes, it might be advisable to consider some of the results of research done on the subject.

Although it cuts across all ages and genders, men form the larger audience for pornography. Viewing pornography is more of a man's 'thing' than it is a woman's because it is a proven fact that men are mostly sexually aroused by what the SEE while women are mostly by what they HEAR. But this does not exclude the fact that a great number of women do view pornography.

If you are using porn to excite and get ready for sex with your partner, remember that porn stars are typically sought after because they are far beyond the norm in body type. The average actress in such films stops around the age of 23. Forever beautiful on tape, your spouse can not live up to these standards, and you could really be hurting their feelings by watching porno. While these women remain the way you first saw them forever, your spouse will change.

It works both ways. If the woman is attracted to the male star on the films, her husband is likely to feel that he will never measure up. The result carries over into the rest of the relationship, and the mistrust that it causes can result in both parties accusing each other of infidelity, whether it is founded or not. This leads to arguments that were unnecessary burdens on the marriage.

In all fairness, let’s look at the other side of pornography in marriage.

Some couples enjoy using porn to heighten their sexual feelings before physical contact. If the two of you really agree that watching these films gives you ideas to enhance your love life, then so be it. But make sure the communication is open and honest and that there are no hurt feelings or lurking doubt.

 

The truth of the matter is that studies have been done linking watching porn to sexual addiction, and if you have a predisposition to addictive behavior (drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, gambling) you may want to rethink just exactly why you want to view porn before having sex. It is no coincidence that sex addicts anonymous is right up there with other popular twelve step programs. Addiction to porn may start out as an exciting change for the both of you, but allowing it to become the focus of your intimacies can lead to other problems in the relationship.

Read More:  Pornography: It's Consequences, Who it Affects, Who's to Blame and is it Beneficial?

For instance, say the two of you tried porn as a precursor to your physical contact a few times and it was fine. Then eventually one of you decides that it would be okay to go to a strip club for the evening. Since there are virtually no coed strip clubs, you go alone. You tell your spouse it’s the same as a film - there is no touching involved, you’re just watching - and perhaps they agree, thinking that you must be right. But then you begin going out regularly. It costs to go to strip clubs, and you begin spending money that maybe you shouldn’t.

It’s easy to see where this could lead.

We enjoy many freedoms, all that’s being said here is to communicate and take the other person’s feelings into consideration. You know when they are upset in other areas of your life together, don’t you? Don’t kid yourself if you see the same symptoms regarding the use of porn in your marriage.

Nollywood Actress Liz Anjorin Reveals why she abandoned christianity for Islam!

Popular actress, Liz Anjorin, surprised many recently when photos of her on Muslim Pilgrimage to Mecca appeared online.  She later announced that she was changing her religion from Christianity to Islam.  She also dropped the name Elizabeth and announced that she would like to be addressed as Aisha, in light with her new religion. Liz has finally opened up about why she made the decision.

 

She tells City People:

"It happened in a miraculous way which I have been expecting for long, not that I woke up yesterday and decided to change my religion. By birth, I was half Muslim and half Christian. My father was Christian while my mum was Muslim. Growing up I went to church because of my father. I didn't have a choice at the time but I have always had interest in Islam so immediately my father died I switched over to my mum's religion. It is a religion I love so much. Also Aisha is now my official name though Liz is still my name and I will continue to use the name to do movies."

Pornography: It's Consequences, Who it Affects, Who's to Blame and is it Beneficial?

 

Pornography, which is the depiction of graphic sexual acts, has tremendous effects on anyone that continuously engages in its viewing. It distorts a person’s concept of the nature of sexual relations which in turn can alter his/her sexual attitudes and behavior. Below are those it affects, its consequences and who carries the greater blame for its proliferation.

 

The Family

Married men (this can also apply to women) who regularly engage in pornography are more likely to be dissatisfied with their wives and can become detached emotionally from them.  A wife may not be aware that her husband is viewing Pornography but she does notice a difference in his sexual attitude towards her.  This change can be due to the fact that pornography viewing makes one numb to “normal” sexual relations. The more you are exposed to it, the more you want it. It’s like a never ending vicious cycle. It may not just be the wife that’s suffering. If children are present, they will be affected by their father’s pornography viewing as well. A consequence of pornography viewing can be a loss of interest in normal filial relations as it could translate to less time spent with the children. All the addict can think of is how to satisfy his cravings and will channel all the "free" time. Another problem can arise if a child becomes exposed to the pornographic material or accidentally finds his/her father engaging in Pornography. This can very much distort the child’s perception of his/her father and the child’s image of healthy sexuality in general.

 

The Marriage

Married men who use pornography often attempt to bring the porn activities they have discovered into the marriage. If the wife resists, these men tend to withdraw and escape even more into pornography, further ignoring the marital issues that desparately need their attention. Do you think that this man who is engaging in pornography viewing will actually still have interest in his wife? Do you think his wife could actually meet his standards now? Most likely not! She is not going to be enough for him anymore. This is extremely harmful for the marriage. The husband may actually lose complete interest in his wife and his wife in return may have feelings of betrayal, mistrust, worthlessness, inadequacy, loss, devastation, and anger in response to finding out about her husband’s addiction.

 

The Individual

One of the effects of pornography on the individual is that the person becomes desensitized to the type of pornography they are viewing. Think of a drug addict that needs to periodically increase his dosage to have the same kind of feeling they use to get with less of the drug. The same happens with pornography, for example looking at a Playboy is not going to last for very long. The next thing they may switch to is Internet pornography. This will go on and on. Their desire for Pornography will increase and their point of satisfaction will continue to rise as well. It will take more and more to have the same effect.

The Adolescents

Exposure to pornography in adolescent years can come about accidentally or not. A majority of adolescents become exposed to pornography accidentally on the Internet. While the initial reaction may be disgust or shame that can quickly change to fascination and enjoyment. pornography can bring about a curiosity in the adolescent that can lead to the intentional search of more material. The more access an adolescent has to the internet, the easier it will be for them to access the material. This is why it is important, as parents, to have filters on your computers and have your children supervised while on the computer. This can be as simple as having them in the same room with you while being on the computer.  Although with the advent of mobile sites for porn, children access to porn can be really difficult to control.

 

Sexual Performance

 

Needless to say, pornography has become a ticking time bomb in relationships and is crushing men’s and women’s confidence in the bedroom.  More and more men are suffering from performance anxiety because of the ‘impressive’ feats they see in porn, whilst women feel insecure about their bodies and feel pressured to ‘perform’.

 

Self-Confidence

 

Pornography is becoming such a problem for some that 85 per cent of experts think porn has had a negative effect on women’s confidence and 67 per cent agree that women are under pressure to behave like porn stars in the bedroom.

 

'Porn can affect men’s ability to form relationships with real women, rather than those on their laptop,' said Psychosexual therapist Carol Featherstone.

 

Psychosexual therapist Karen Lobb-Rossini says, 'More and more young people (girls as well as boys) are learning about sex through porn, and it’s having a devastating effect on their perception of themselves and their bodies.'

 

Whilst some experts have claimed porn can help some relationships, many experts now believe it can have a devastating effect by skewing what is expected in the bedroom,' said Louise Court, Editor of Cosmopolitan.

 

Who's to Blame for its Proliferation?

 

The media plays a key role in all of this. I think we have become numb to certain sexual explicit material nowadays. If people from a decade ago were exposed to what we are exposed to these days, I think they would be in complete shock. We are constantly bombarded with sexual material, whether it is in magazines, TV, radio, or the Internet. It is so prevalent that we do not even realize how much we are consumed by it. That in itself is very sad. Our culture is all about sex and then you wonder why people become addicted to pornography. Almost every show on TV and every commercial contains sexual material inappropriate for any child or adolescent.

 

Is it Beneficial?

 

Despite the claims of some that pornography can be helpful marital aid, many researchers assert that its effects actually serve to decrease marital satisfaction.  Pornography is not beneficial no matter who the consumer is in the family.  If it is, you won't want to conceal it from certain individuals.  The effects of pornography is detrimental to all, be it a child, adolescent, young adult, or adult. The effects differ depending on the life stage you are in but as mentioned above, simply put, the use of pornography may temporarily bring satisfaction to you but in the long term it will only bring damage to your life. It’s more than an addiction, it’s not simply having the need to view sexual material, you become desensitized to normal women, desensitized to what is considered to be normal sex. In the case of marriage, you may lose your desire for your wife and time with your children. As a child, you may adopt a distorted view of healthy sexuality. As an adolescent, you may initiate a habit that can have tremendous consequences. The tragic irony is that, while the desire for the highest levels of sexual fulfillment are likely the motive for many adolescents’ first peek into pornography, the attainment of that universal longing is most likely to be had through monogamy and regular participation in meaningful relationships.