Although it cuts across all ages and genders, men form the larger audience for pornography. Viewing pornography is more of a man's 'thing' than it is a woman's because it is a proven fact that men are mostly sexually aroused by what the SEE while women are mostly by what they HEAR. But this does not exclude the fact that a great number of women do view pornography.
If you are using porn to excite and get ready for sex with your partner, remember that porn stars are typically sought after because they are far beyond the norm in body type. The average actress in such films stops around the age of 23. Forever beautiful on tape, your spouse can not live up to these standards, and you could really be hurting their feelings by watching porno. While these women remain the way you first saw them forever, your spouse will change.
It works both ways. If the woman is attracted to the male star on the films, her husband is likely to feel that he will never measure up. The result carries over into the rest of the relationship, and the mistrust that it causes can result in both parties accusing each other of infidelity, whether it is founded or not. This leads to arguments that were unnecessary burdens on the marriage.
In all fairness, let’s look at the other side of pornography in marriage.
Some couples enjoy using porn to heighten their sexual feelings before physical contact. If the two of you really agree that watching these films gives you ideas to enhance your love life, then so be it. But make sure the communication is open and honest and that there are no hurt feelings or lurking doubt.
The truth of the matter is that studies have been done linking watching porn to sexual addiction, and if you have a predisposition to addictive behavior (drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, gambling) you may want to rethink just exactly why you want to view porn before having sex. It is no coincidence that sex addicts anonymous is right up there with other popular twelve step programs. Addiction to porn may start out as an exciting change for the both of you, but allowing it to become the focus of your intimacies can lead to other problems in the relationship.
Read More: Pornography: It's Consequences, Who it Affects, Who's to Blame and is it Beneficial?
For instance, say the two of you tried porn as a precursor to your physical contact a few times and it was fine. Then eventually one of you decides that it would be okay to go to a strip club for the evening. Since there are virtually no coed strip clubs, you go alone. You tell your spouse it’s the same as a film - there is no touching involved, you’re just watching - and perhaps they agree, thinking that you must be right. But then you begin going out regularly. It costs to go to strip clubs, and you begin spending money that maybe you shouldn’t.
For instance, say the two of you tried porn as a precursor to your physical contact a few times and it was fine. Then eventually one of you decides that it would be okay to go to a strip club for the evening. Since there are virtually no coed strip clubs, you go alone. You tell your spouse it’s the same as a film - there is no touching involved, you’re just watching - and perhaps they agree, thinking that you must be right. But then you begin going out regularly. It costs to go to strip clubs, and you begin spending money that maybe you shouldn’t.
It’s easy to see where this could lead.
We enjoy many freedoms, all that’s being said here is to communicate and take the other person’s feelings into consideration. You know when they are upset in other areas of your life together, don’t you? Don’t kid yourself if you see the same symptoms regarding the use of porn in your marriage.
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