Are you one of those people who find themselves being taken for granted all the time? You may be assertive and in full control of your life but somewhere along the way, you start to realize that the people that 'love' you are taking you and the things you do for them for granted almost all the time. You may be loving and caring, go out of your way often just to please your lover, friend, or family and pamper them. But what do you do when your indulgences are taken for granted and turned into expectations? There are things about you that you need to change in order to avoid being taken for granted.
You are likely being taken for granted by others around you because....
You are predictable: Everyone around you, especially your loved ones, can totally predict your behavior. And since you are so predictable, they subtly manipulate you and get you to do what they want. You may feel manipulated and used, but you feel helpless at the same time.
You are too sweet: You are a people pleaser and you just cant be rude to others. You convince yourself that you are the sweet person in a bad world, but in reality, you may be the idealist idiot in a real world who is too sweet and nice and forces others to take you for granted even if they don't realize it themselves.
You can't say 'no': You have a very hard time declining something to people. You'd rather take on more commitments or responsibilities that utter the word 'no'. You may think you are being sweet, but your inability to say no will only make others take your sacrifices for granted, and hate you when you don't help them again.
You can't confront people: If you feel like you are being taken for granted, confront the issue. If you can't confront the issue, you will end up unhappy and fill your head with resentments and frustrations, which would eat you from the inside.
You procrastinate: You would rather make excuses or postpone issues or decisions about things that bother you instead of dealing with it or concluding it immediately. You may think pushing decisions away is the easy way, but in fact, it is the spineless way of dealing with your problems.
You lie to yourself: When someone takes you for granted, you lie to yourself and make excuses in your head. You console yourself by telling yourself that the person probably took the right decision anyway and they are not using you or taking you for granted. You are not happy doing what you are doing for this person, yet you tell and console yourself that you are doing it out of freewill and not out of that person's manipulation.
You can't be alone: You constantly feel the need to have someone as a witness to your life. Independence scares you and you find it easier to go out of your way and be nice to someone who treats you badly instead of being lonely.
You seek approval: You constantly need this person's approval to do anything at all, be it to go out with your friends or do something for the first time. When someone starts to take you for granted without realizing it, you'd allow them to control and use you as they please. And before long, you lose your sense of judgment and you forget that it's possible to independently make decisions for yourself.
You don't believe in yourself: Somewhere deep inside, you doubt yourself and don't believe in your own capabilities. You find flaws within yourself and you see other people as virtuous and flawless. You're broken from the inside and you feel a constant need to please others to be accepted by them.
You are scared: You are scared of people who are loud, outspoken, bossy and confrontational. You just can't handle them and they stress you out emotionally. You'd rather accept what they say than ever go against them because you don't believe you can handle them. You may think it is the best way to deal with rude people, but in reality, you are setting yourself up to be used and taken for granted by these kinds of people for the rest of your life.
You crave appreciation: You do not like going against people you want to impress or win over. You accommodate anything they say and you bend over backwards to please them in the hope of winning their affection. Hearing a small line of praise from them mean the world to you.
You don't know your own desires: Every time you want to do something, even as simple as getting a new haircut or deciding on a restaurant, the voice in your head wonders if the object of your affection would like your decision. You always try to please this person in everything you do in the hope that they would see just how loving and accommodating you are, hoping that they may realize just how much you are doing for them someday.
Low expectations: You intentionally keep you expectations low around people, especially the ones you love, because you know what constant disappointments feel like. But at the same time, you give far too much, in the hope that the one you love will see just how giving you are, and change and become a person just like you. On the contrary, this person may just assume they are perfect for you already because you are not pointing out any flaws in them, nor are you pointing out to them any of your wants or expectations from them.
You respect them and they know you do: You respect this person and you can't ever think of going against them or offending them in any manner. This person is the center of your world and you will do anything to keep them happy. The people who take you for granted are usually the ones who know that they matter a lot to you. They see the love you have for them, and constantly expect more form you without even realizing it. And when you keep giving more, their expectations too grow all the time, until it reaches the critical stage where you feel completely taken for granted, and this person starts to believe that you are changing for the worse and being mean to them because you are not doing the things you once used to do for them!
You give more than you get back: You just don't know when to stop giving. And you always end up giving way too much before you even realized it. And by then, it's probably too late because the person you are giving to may already be taking you for granted. And even if you back away, they'd only be upset, even blame you and say you are the one who's changed for worse.
If you see any of these traits in yourself, then you need to change because there is a good chance that you are extremely susceptible to being taken for granted by those close to you. You may not realize it at first, but it's these same traits and reasons that force you to lose your own self respect and depend on someone else for your happiness and achievements. And before you know it, the person you love "and who loves you back" may unwittingly take you for granted even if that was never their intention in the first place.
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