10 Things Women Who Get Cheated On Have in Common

If your man is a philanderer, it's probably not your fault. But if you've gotten hurt by a player more than once-or you know someone who has-you'll want to check out what top relationship experts say could be part of the reason.

 

1. You were "cheated on" by your father.

If your dad abandoned the family, was abusive, or didn't pay much attention to you, it often triggers a cycle, notes Jeanette Raymond, PhD., a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles, CA. "You expect the same from every man." Dr. Raymond recalls one couple who was happy until he started socializing more with his co-workers. She grew very possessive, and started checking his phone. Even when he was out with his brother, she assumed he was cheating. "She felt as if he didn't care about her, just like her father," says Dr. Raymond. Her partner eventually did cheat on her, he admitted, to make her back off. Women stuck in this cycle need to mourn the loss of what didn't happen as a child and let it go. "Try looking at the facts, not just your feelings," suggests Dr. Raymond." 

2. You mistake attraction for love. 

Attraction just happens. Love is something that builds over time and takes work. Sure, attraction can lead to love. But not always. "Female-to-male attraction works the same whether you're 16, 36 or 56," says Scot Conway, PhD, relationship coach and author of Emotional Genius. "A top attractive quality in a man is when he doesn't need your approval." Men who don't need a commitment tend to have extreme self-confidence. "If you understand that attraction is one thing and love is something else, and the first doesn't always lead to the second, you have a massive advantage," says Dr. Conway.

 

3. You're attracted to the "wrong" guys. 

Women who get burned again and again are overlooking the good guys. "The classic friend zone is where many of the best partners end up," explains Dr. Conway. Why? Nice men can try too hard to impress you, which can be a turn-off. Sometimes what women want "is a bad guy they can change," explains Dr. Raymond. So have a two-date rule: Give a guy a fair shake before you dismiss him. How do you know you've found a man who could really be there for you? "You can tell him anything without feeling embarrassed or that you'll scare him off," shares Dr. Raymond. "And he accepts you the way you are." 

 

4. You're not really into sex anymore. 

No getting around it: sex is really important to men. If you're just "going through the motions" and having sex you're not enjoying, he might feel rejected and consider cheating. "Think of outings when he clearly doesn't want to be there. After a while, you'd just as soon not go out. It's the same with sex," explains Dr. Conway. Try talking to him and telling him what you like and what feels good. "If you are not there to fulfill the needs of your partner, those needs don't just go away. If it is something you don't want someone else there for, you be there."  

 

5. You're your worst critic. 

If you're insecure about your body and often complain about it, he will start to see you through your eyes. Many of us do this more than we realize. "Do these jeans make me look fat? Do you think I'm gaining weight? I hate my cellulite. My boobs are getting droopy…You've got to stop!" says Laurel House, relationship expert and founder of ScrewingTheRules.com. "Let your guy view you as the gorgeous gem that you are. Act confidently. Embrace your body regardless of its shape and age."

6. You give up your independence. 

"Some women give themselves so completely to the relationship that their partners feel uncomfortable and 'bought'," observes Dr. Raymond. And the irony is that in trying so hard to bolster the relationship, you become less like the woman he was originally attracted to. If you lose yourself in a man-canceling plans to be with him, only listening to the music he likes, posting only pictures of the two of you on Facebook-the man can feel trapped. And when one feels trapped, the instinct is to get free. "And they do that by cheating, because it's an easy way out," explains Dr. Raymond.

7. You believe sweet talkers are sweet guys. 

Women who don't trust their gut when there are warning signs, are more apt to be cheated on. "I have a patient who is involved with a total jerk. But he wrote her a long letter, which she looked at as 'his putting into words what he couldn't say in person,'" says Jane Greer, PhD, New York-based relationship expert and author of How Could You Do This to Me? Learning to Trust After Betrayal. Women who are easy marks for cheaters tend to be moved by showy displays of affection. The guys quickly figure out that "those will suffice to keep them connected and take her attention away from what's actually going on," notes Dr. Greer. "Rather than taking him at his word, go by his behavior, because often that's the real him," she suggests.

 

8. You're a Workaholic. 

If you're working extremely long hours, or are unavailable, he'll feel neglected, says Dr. Greer. If the circumstances can't be avoided, compensate during your downtime. Even if you only have one day a week free, use that day to prioritize your relationship. Make every Saturday night, say, a non-negotiable date to snuggle on the couch with a movie. Talking openly and frequently about when you might need to be unavailable and how long you expect it to go on is essential. If you don't, over time, he may act on the "abandonment" by cheating.

 

9. You don't take pride in your appearance.  

 We know what you're thinking: Like he's Jared Leto? But hear us out. Not taking care of yourself at all sends your man a message: Leave me alone, says Carole Lieberman, MD, author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. Guys can translate your lack of interest in feeling and looking your best as lack of interest in them, a blow to their self-esteem. That same "you're not worth it" message can be sent when boundaries disappear too. "Women who get cheated often started using the toilet, farting, and waxing their upper lip in front of him," adds House.

 

10. You put the kids first. Always. 

If you never give your husband first dibs on your time, he's going to wish he was with somebody who thought he was important. By first dibs, we mean, sticking to date night plans even though your daughter was just invited to a sleep-over, needs a ride and is having an "all my pajamas are ugly!" meltdown. "An assumption among women who are cheated on is that their relationship can wait until the kids are older and things 'get easier,'" notes Antoniette Coleman, Psychotherapist/Relationship Coach in McLean, VA. It can't. "Break this cycle by learning to be 'a good enough mom,'" urges Coleman. "Send store-bought cupcakes to the bake sale, volunteer at school once a month instead of once a week, let the kids have downtime instead of scheduling every moment of their day. You'll free up energy for yourself and your spouse."

 

By Christina Vercelletto

First picture of Sudan Death-Row Mother and the Baby she Delivered IN SHACKLES Inside Prison

Now she faces 100 lashes and execution for marrying a US Christian.

This is the first picture of the mother-of-two who has been sentenced to death in Sudan for being a Christian - from inside the prison where she is being held.

In an exclusive photo, Meriam Ibrahim puts on a brave face as she holds her newborn baby girl Maya who was born in the jail where she has been locked up for eight months.

But behind the smile there is a different story - Meriam's eyes have dark rings under them, her arms are alarmingly thin and her face looks gaunt.

Gone is the radiant glow from the day she married husband Daniel Wani, a U. S. citizen, and in its place is a woman struggling with the awful fate awaiting her.

In an exclusive photo, Meriam Ibrahim puts on a brave face as she holds her newborn baby girl Maya.  Maya was born in the jail where Meriam has been locked up for eight months for marrying a Christian.  Picture comes as it emerged Meriam's legs were chained as she gave birth.  The 27-year-old gave birth five days early after months shackled to floor.  Her husband, U.S. citizen Daniel Wani, was pictured with girl in barbaric jail in Khartoum just hours after the birth.  He was initially refused entry to jail but was eventually allowed in with lawyer.  The doctor was sentenced to death for converting from Islam to Christianity after marrying Mr Wani, who lives in New Hampshire.  She will never see Maya grow up as she refuses to renounce Christianity.

Lawyer told MailOnline: 'The family are taking time to enjoy the birth before they fight injustice'

Meriam has spent the past four months shackled to the floor in a disease-ridden jail after being sentenced to death by hanging earlier this month for converting from Islam to Christianity and marrying a Christian man.

Her lawyer Mohaned Mustafa Elnour said the couple are 'happy and proud' of their new arrival and that it has brought a momentary ray of light to an otherwise bleak and desperate situation.

Mr Elnour: 'This is a special moment for them. Daniel is delighted that he is able to see his new daughter so soon.

'The family are taking some time to enjoy the birth before they return to fighting the injustice of Meriam's sentence.'

Mr Wani, a 27-year-old biochemist who lives in Manchester, New Hampshire, also got the chance to hold his 20-month-old son Martin, who is being held in the barbaric prison with his mother.

The photo is especially poignant as Meriam will never see her beautiful daughter grow up. She is set to hang sometime in the next two years as the authorities said she will be executed when she has finished weaning Maya.

And before the birth, Meriam made the defiant claim that she would rather die than give up her faith.

In a heart-wreching conversation with her husband during a rare prison visit, Meriam told him: 'If they want to execute me then they should go ahead and do it because I'm not going to change my faith.'

An Islamic Sharia judge said she could be spared the death penalty if she publicly renounced her faith and becomes a Muslim once more.

Culled from: Daily Mail UK

Eight Myths that Could Kill Your Relationship

Image Source: www.mnn.com

There are hundreds of myths about relationships, according to Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, a Michigan clinical psychologist and author of "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great" (Delacorte Press, 2009). The problem with persistent myths is that they can erode a relationship's happiness, she said.

When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn't, frustration sets in. And "frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship," Orbuch said, and "it's directly tied to these myths."

That's why it's so critical to bust the below misconceptions. So without further ado, here are eight myths about relationships that might surprise you.

Myth 1: A good relationship means that you don't have to work at it.

Fact: "The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work," said Lisa Blum, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena and Los Angeles, who specializes in emotionally focused therapy with couples. She believes that our culture, education system and parenting styles don't prepare us for the fact that even good relationships take effort.

She likened a healthy relationship to a good garden. "It's a beautiful thing but you wouldn't expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labour and TLC."

But how do you know if you're working too hard on a relationship? One sign, according to Blum, is if you're feeling unhappy more than you're happy. In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it?

This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like the "normal state of affairs," she said.

Another bad sign is if you're trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don't see the same level of effort on your partner's part. "There has to be some sense of 'we're trying really hard, both making changes and that's making a difference.'"

On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that's a good sign, Blum said.

Myth 2: If partners really love each other, they know each other's needs and feelings.

Fact: "It's a set-up to expect your partner to be able to read your mind," Blum said — because when you anticipate that your partner will know your wants, that's essentially what you're doing. We develop this expectation as kids, she said. But "as adults, we're always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs."

And once you've communicated your needs and feelings, "a better measure of the quality of your relationship" is whether your partner actually listens to your words.

Myth 3: If you're truly in love, passion will never fade.

Fact: Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that if we genuinely love someone, "the passion, urging and loving" never go away. And if they do disappear, then "it must not be the right relationship" or "our relationship [must be] in trouble," Orbuch said. However, passion naturally diminishes in all relationships.

Daily routines are one of the culprits, Blum said. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, couples have less and less time and energy for each other.

But this doesn't mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion. Blum sees many relationships where passion is alive and well. "Passionate sex is a by-product of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness." Orbuch also has emphasized the importance of couples doing new things to perk up their relationships (see her specific advice).

And when it comes to passion-squashing routines, Blum suggested couples ask themselves: "How do we tame our lives sufficiently that we can make time for each other and have energy left for each other?"

Myth 4: Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.

Fact: Studies have shown that relationship happiness actually decreases with every child, she said. This doesn't mean that you start loving each other less or that you won't bond at all over your child, Orbuch said. But the mounting challenges can complicate relationships.

Having realistic expectations helps couples prepare themselves for their new roles, she said. When you think that a child will improve your relationship, it only adds to the complications.

As Orbuch said, "'should' statements don't allow you to see what the other person is doing to strengthen and manage the relationship," and these expectations "cloud your judgment." She recommended planning ahead and talking about the changes that will occur when you have your first child or more kids.

Myth 5: Jealousy is a sign of true love and caring.

Fact: Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof), she said. Take the following example: If you have a jealous partner, you might try to show them how much you care so they don't get jealous. But you soon realize that any amount of caring isn't a cure for their jealous reactions.

While you can be supportive, according to Orbuch, your partner must work on their insecurity issues on their own. "No matter what you do, you can't make your partner feel more secure" or "change their self-confidence."

Trying to make your partner jealous also can backfire. While men and women are just as likely to experience jealousy, their reactions differ. Men either get very defensive or angry, believing that the relationship isn't worth it, Orbuch said. Women, on the other hand, respond by trying to improve the relationship or themselves.

Myth 6: Fights ruin relationships.

Fact: In actuality, what ruins relationships is not resolving your fights, Blum said. "Fights can be really healthy, and an important form of communication and clearing the air."

Also, the type of fight a couple has plays a role. Not surprisingly, nasty, scornful or condescending fights that leave couples resolution-less and not talking for days damage the relationship. Productive conflicts that help the relationship end with "some mutual decision about how to manage this disagreement," Blum said.

Myth 7: In order for the relationship to be successful, the other partner must change.

Fact: Many times we're very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how we can become better partners. Instead, we demand that our partners make such and such changes.

Unless, there are extreme circumstances like abuse or chronic infidelity, Blum said, it takes two to make changes.

But even more than that, it's up to you to figure out what you can do. While this seems "simple and obvious," 100 percent of the couples Blum sees point the finger.

"It's a profound mental shift to look at what can I do [and] what changes can I make."

Myth 8: Couples therapy means your relationship is really in trouble.

Fact: By the time couples seek therapy, this may be true, but changing this mindset is key. Most couples seek therapy "when they've been suffering for a really long time," Blum said. "What elements were good in the relationship are destroyed."

Instead, Blum suggested that people view couples therapy as preventative. This way, a couple comes in when they've been stuck on one or two conflicts for a few months, "not five or six over the last 10 years."

Culled from: www.livescience.com

10 Relationship Tips You Should Never Forget

Source: www.thefrisky.com

If you’re in a relationship, intimate or platonic, that could use a little help, the tips below will come in handy:

1.  Let go of old wounds through forgiveness.

Every moment of your life you are either growing or dying – and when you are physically healthy, it’s a choice, not fate.  The art of maintaining happiness in your life and relationships relies on the fine balancing act of holding on and letting go.  Yes, sometimes people you trust (including yourself) will hurt you.  Being hurt is something you can’t avoid, but being continuously miserable is always a choice.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  You have to let go of what’s behind you before you can grasp the goodness in front of you.

2.  Come clean when you make a mistake.

An honest heart is the beginning of everything that is right with this world.  The most honourable people of all are not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do, and then go on and do their best to right the wrongs they've made.  In the end, being honest might not always win you a lot of friends and lovers, but it will always keep the right ones in your life. 

3.  Stop gossiping and start communicating.

A good rule of thumb:  If you can’t say it to their face, you shouldn't say it behind their back.  As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”  Life is much too short to waste talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has no substance.  If you don’t know, ask. If you don’t agree, say so.  If you don’t like it, speak up.  But never judge people behind their back.

4.  Give others the space to make their own decisions.

Stop judging others by your own past.  Never act, judge, or treat people like you know them better than they know themselves.  They are living a different life from yours.  What might be good for one person may not be good for another.  What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better.  Allow the people in your life to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.

5.  Do things that make YOU happy.

If you want to awaken happiness in a relationship, start by living a life that makes you happy and then radiate your happiness into your relationship.  If you want to eliminate suffering in a relationship, start by eliminating the dark and negative parts of yourself, and then radiate your positivity into your relationship.  Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the power of your own self-transformation.  All the positive change you seek in any relationship starts with the one in the mirror.

6.  Show your loved ones your kindness in small ways every day.

Aesop once said, “No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  Always be kinder than necessary.  You never know what someone is going through.  Sometimes you have to be kind to someone, not because they’re being nice, but because you are.  Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

7.  Say less when less means more.

It takes some courage to stand up and speak; it takes even more courage to open your mind and listen.  Pay attention and be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.  The people in your life often need a listening ear more than they need a rambling voice.  And don’t listen with the intent to reply; hear what is being said with the intent to understand.  You are as beautiful as the love you give, and you are as wise as the silence you leave behind.

8.  Let your love and trust overpower your fear.

You never lose by loving; you lose by holding back.  No relationship is impossible until you refuse to give it a chance.  Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  Without this trust, a relationship cannot survive.  You cannot just believe what you fear from others; you have to believe in the good faith of others.  If you are ever going to have someone trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too.

9.  Accept, don’t expect.

Unconditional acceptance is something we want, but rarely ever give out.  Remember, people never do anything that is out of character.  They may do things that go against your expectations, but what people do reveals exactly who they are.  Never force your expectations on people, other than the expectation that they will be exactly who they are.  Who they are is not what they say or what you have come to expect, it is who they reveal themselves to be.  Either you accept them as they are, or you move on without them.

10.  Let the wrong ones go.

Know your worth!  When you give your time to someone who doesn't respect you, you surrender pieces of your heart you will never get back.  All failed relationships hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you is actually a gain, not a loss.  Some people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something.  They come and they go and they make a difference.  It’s perfectly okay that they’re not in your life anymore.  You now have more time to focus on the relationships that truly matter.

Adapted from: www.marcandangel.com

Maya Angelou, Writer and Poet, Dies at Age 86

Maya Angelou, a child of the Jim Crow South who rose to international prominence as a writer known for her frank chronicles of personal history and a performer instantly identified by her regal presence and rich, honeyed voice, died May 28 at her home in Winston-Salem, N.C. She was 86.

 

Statement from Dr. Maya Angelou's Family:

 

"Dr. Maya Angelou passed quietly in her home before 8:00 a.m. EST.  Her family is extremely grateful that her ascension was not belabored by a loss of acuity or comprehension.  She lived a life as a teacher, activist, artist and human being. She was a warrior for equality, tolerance and peace.  The family is extremely appreciative of the time we had with her and we know that she is looking upon us with love."

 

- Guy B. Johnson

Nigerian military base Attacked by Boko Haram, 24 personnel feared killed

File Photo Source: www.maggiesnotebook.com

The attack on a security base in Buni Yadi, the headquarters of Gujba Local Government Area, which occurred on Tuesday evening, a few minutes after 5:00 p.m, left 13 soldiers and 11 police officers dead, residents said.

 

Residents of the town informed the BBC Hausa service that the attackers came in 10 Hilux vans, an armoured tank, and several motorcycles. The insurgents reportedly told residents to go back home and stay indoors as their targets were the security personnel in town.

 

The attackers reportedly torched some part of the traditional ruler's residence and several other buildings. "They also raided the Local Government Secretariat and burnt most of the vehicles inside the complex," said a resident who refused to be named for security reasons.

It would be recalled that Boko Haram had on February 25 attacked the Federal Government College, Buni Yadi, killing about 59 students although the military said 29 male students were killed.  About 24 buildings of the school were also burnt down during the February attack.

Adapted from: PREMIUM TIMES

Meet Ahmad Salkida, the Only Nigerian Journalist with Unprecedented Access to Boko Haram

Ahmad Salkida was born in Borno State, where Boko Haram originated. He has known Boko Haram leaders all his life and has unprecedented access.

 

Nigerian journalist, Ahmad Salkida, fled Nigeria to Dubai two years ago after being accused of being a Boko Haram sympathizer.  He previously worked for Daily Trust and Premium Times and reported extensively on Boko Haram. He said he fled after 'his life and that of his family became endangered' after security agencies began to mistake his in-depth reporting on the terrorist group as evidence of his closeness to them. He went underground for several weeks before finally fleeing Nigeria. Salkida was perhaps the only Nigerian journalist/civilian to have access to Boko Haram, and he said at the time that he'd turned down Boko Haram's many requests for him to publish exclusive interviews and materials for them.

 

But two weeks ago, he was summoned out of exile by President Jonathan’s aides. He initially feared he might face arrest, but was then given a letter of indemnity signed by the President when he flew to Nigeria. 

 

Sources said Mr Salkida was able to travel by taxi to the group’s forest camp to talk to Shekau two weeks ago. ‘His mission was secretive and dangerous,’ they said.

 

It would be recalled that Shekau has released two shocking videos showing the girls dressed in hijabs and reciting verses from the Koran.

 

He reported afterwards that the group of girls he saw were alive and well, and being adequately fed and sheltered. They told him all they wanted was to go home.

 

He is probably the only civilian with access to Shekau. There is trust between them and Salkida had only one aim – to get the schoolgirls out.

 

Adapted from Linda Ikeji's Blog

Iran’s Supreme Leader: Jihad Will Continue Until America is No More

Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, all but said on Sunday that negotiations over the country’s illicit nuclear program are over and that the Islamic Republic’s ideals include destroying America.

 

“Those (Iranians) who want to promote negotiation and surrender to the oppressors and blame the Islamic Republic as a warmonger in reality commit treason,” Khamenei told a meeting of members of parliament, according to the regime’s Fars News Agency.

 

Khamenei emphasized that without a combative mindset, the regime cannot reach its higher Islamic role against the “oppressors’ front.”

 

He said, “The reason for continuation of this battle is not the warmongering of the Islamic Republic. Logic and reason command that for Iran, in order to pass through a region full of pirates, needs to arm itself and must have the capability to defend itself”.

 

“Today’s world is full of thieves and plunderers of human honor, dignity and morality who are equipped with knowledge, wealth and power, and under the pretence of humanity easily commit crimes and betray human ideals and start wars in different parts of the world.”

 

In response to a question by a parliamentarian on how long this battle will continue, Khamenei said, “Battle and jihad are endless because evil and its front continue to exist. … This battle will only end when the society can get rid of the oppressors’ front with America at the head of it, which has expanded its claws on human mind, body and thought. … This requires a difficult and lengthy struggle and need for great strides.”

 

Khamenei cited the scientific advancement of the country. “The accelerated scientific advancement of the last 12 years cannot stop under any circumstances,” he said, referring to the strides the regime has made toward becoming a nuclear power.

 

Adapted from: The Daily Caller

Another Bomb Explosion in Jos, Nigeria

Less than a week after multiple explosion killed over 200 people in Jos, the Plateau State capital, another round of explosion has gone off in the city Saturday night, residents and a security official say.

Residents say the explosion occurred along Bauchi Road  near the University of Jos, Jos North Local Government Area.

The sound of the explosion was heard in Jos South LGA, about 25 kilometres away from the scene.

A witness, Tank Shittu, who rushed to the scene five minutes after the blast, said the explosion occurred near a car park, few meters away from a security checkpoint.

The spokesperson of the Police State Command of the Nigeria Police, Felicia Ali, confirmed the incident but said details were still sketchy.

A resident said the suicide bomber died 20 metres from a viewing centre where football fans gathered to watch the ongoing final of the UEFA Champions League between Real Madrid and Athletico Madrid. That could not be independently verified at this time.

Multiple explosions had on May 20 occurred around the ever-busy Jos Main Market, between Railway Terminus and the temporary site of the Jos University Teaching Hospital, killing over 200 people.

Source: Premium Times

Mariam Yahya Ibrahim Ishag: "I Was Never a Muslim. I Was Raised A Christian from the Start."

Mariam Yahya Ibrahim Ishag, 27, was sentenced to death last week for refusing to renounce her Christian faith in front of Sudanese court which considers her a Muslim.  She was also charged with adultery for marrying Christian Daniel Wani and sentenced to 100 lashes.

 

She told the Sudanese court: 'I was never a Muslim. I was raised a Christian from the start'. But Ishag is considered a Muslim by the court because her father was a Sudanese Muslim despite her being raised by a Christian mother.

 

She has been shackled at the legs in prison where she is being held with the couple's 20-month-old son Martin. The couple's lawyer is working on an appeal to the 27-year-old's sentence amid mounting international pressure.

 

Mr. Daniel Wani was born in war-torn Sudan but fled to the U.S. in 1998. He settled in Manchester, New Hampshire.  He says his son Martin is a U.S. citizen, but State Department would not confirm the boy's legal status.

 

The husband was allegedly asked to send a DNA sample to U.S. Embassy in Khartoum to prove Martin is his son.

 

Adapted from: DailyMail UK

Husband Dies Mysteriously After Wife Refuses Having 4-Way Sex

A would-be hotel tryst met a deadly end.

 

According to Michael A. Ochoa's wife, the 46-year-old had hoped to spend the wee hours of April 25 engaged in a foursome with his wife and another couple at a San Antonio hotel. Instead, he ended up dead, after falling 18 stories from his hotel balcony. Police last week released a report on the incident, which remains somewhat murky, in part because Ochoa's wife told them three distinct stories. What they do know is that when they arrived around 2am, she was crying, scratched, and missing a fingernail; video of the second couple exiting the Hilton Palacio del Rio indicated they weren't obviously injured, the San Antonio Express-News reports.

 

What went down, version one: Ochoa's unnamed wife agreed to the four-way sex, then changed her mind when the other couple showed up; they left, Ochoa started assaulting her; then he walked outside and vanished. In version two, Ochoa got in a fight with a member of the other couple; both that person and Ochoa punched Ochoa's wife when she tried to break it up. Again, the other couple left, Ochoa went outside, and she never saw him again.

 

Version three is essentially version one, except with Ochoa's wife saying her husband went to the balcony in order to flee security, who knocked on their door. Those guards were the ones who spotted Ochoa, who KSAT describes as an area real estate agent, in the river below; police say his wife didn't realize he fell or died, and they documented no signs of struggle on the balcony