12 Pointers You're Dealing with An Evil Person

The idea of what is evil can be hard to define.  For example, committing murder can be said to be evil but the same cannot be said to be if committed in self defense. Evil is not confined to gender, believe, or region.  Anyone can be evil.  It can also emanate from anywhere and  often from places or persons we least expect.  Evil persons are found in regular homes, even in places of worship.  Everywhere we look, evil is sure to be lurking somewhere.

However, a doer of evil is someone who does not see anything wrong in their action or even inaction causing pain to others around them.  While some do it subtly, others don't really care.  For the latter, evil is a way of life. But evil is, whether open or subtle, EVIL.

Although it is quite difficult to identify an evil person just by merely looking at them, there are warning signs they display when you meet and associate with them. Below are signs to look out for to identify an evil person:

1.  Control Issues:  This is a most common trait of evil people.  The need for control is more like the bedrock of almost all their actions.  Not being in control makes them feel uncomfortable and powerless and because they want to ensure they are always in control you, they will do anything, including being overly nice to you, just to get close and subsequently control you. 

2.  Habitual Dishonesty:  Evil people are pathological liars.  They will vehemently lie through their nose even when the truth stares them pat in the face.  The vehemence is fierce when the odds don't favor them.  Lies form their reality as they could lie without even realizing it. They will lie about you, about situations, about others, and about themselves with no regrets.

3.  They Deliberately Mislead:  You can never really tell who an evil person is.  You will never know what their next course of action would be; whether they are going to turnaround, go right or left or continue straight.  They do not give straightforward answers when queried about anything, be it even something as innocuous as their birth date.  In their attempt to mislead you, they twist and stretch facts that are obvious.  They create a world around them that you will have difficulty understanding or believing in. An evil person will never have issues with misleading you.

4.  They Enjoy the Misfortune of Others:  And this includes you.  They delight in misfortune.  Somehow, they get a high from seeing others pass through difficulty or pain. Therefore, it is never out of place for an evil person to create bad situations for you just so they can be able to relish the outcome. 

5.  Lack of Remorse:  An evil person will never be truly sorry for what they did to you.  If anything, they will do anything to guilt-trip you into thinking it is all your fault and you should be the one apologizing.  Evil people truly have no remorse and are never moved by the tears of the people they hurt. In reality, all they want to do is maintain their current position of controlling your life and apologizing will make them appear weak and fallible.

6.  Cruelty:  Evil people are often so cruel to the world and to everyone around them that they can't entrust any part of their lives to other human being because they fear same would be meted out to them in return.  When you defy the wishes of an evil person, they may not immediately show their distaste, however, they definitely will at some point when they are sure they can hurt you most.  It won't be a slap in the face but a kick to the heart.

7.  Lack of Responsibility:  Evil people do not have a moral compass.  They will do as they please at all times and will never feel responsible to what their actions could cause anyone.  If they feel any sort of blame, they will always redirect it immediately.

8.  Manipulation:  They are adept manipulators.  Often times, they will be nice to you just to get something they need at the moment from you.  What they need could be anything; money, sexual satisfaction, assistance, favour, anything, just name it.  Once this need is met, you do not matter to them until when the need arises again and they act of showing you kindness will commence.  Then the whole circle will repeat itself.  However, not every act of kindness stems from manipulation.  The difference is that, genuine acts of kindness do not expect anything in return as opposed to manipulative acts of kindness.

9.  Belittling Others:  The do this through emotional manipulation.  They ridicule your appearance, your efforts at self-development, your hopes, aspirations, hobbies, your dreams and believes;  almost anything can belittled by an evil person.

10.  They Lead Double Lives:  Their true lives are always hidden.  They become whoever they need to be, even on the spur of the moment, just to get what they want.  They lead hundreds of lives and are a different person to everyone. Therefore, no single person truly knows who they are. 

11.  They Don't Have Boundaries:  Anything goes for an evil person.  Just ANYTHING.  They are no respecters of anyone, thus they can cross every boundary at will.  

12.  They Feel and Act Omnipotent:  Because they have gotten you wrapped around their little finger, the evil person feels all powerful.  They build and possess the feeling that you can't do without them.  A single sign of resistance or rejection from you and they will employ all the arsenals at their disposal to force you to let them stay.

Do you wonder if an evil person can change?  The answer is yes.  Evil persons can change but they can only do it on their own when they are ready; when the stopped being close-minded and are ready to atone for what they've done, change begins. But you CAN'T make them change so don't even try. 

The One Proof that Love will Always find a Way to Come Shining Through

In this period of COVID-19 pandemic, when the entire world is faced with a bleak future darkened by uncertainty the depth of which seems beyond human comprehension, light, love and hope through fate will always find a way to come shining through as it did for Jeremy Cohen who found love in a way quite surprising and gave dating a new face.

Jeremy 'Jerm' Cohen, born in 1991, lives and works in Brooklyn as a freelance photographer.  Owing to social distancing brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic, millions all over the world have been quarantined at their homes in an attempt to curb the spread of the disease.  Jeremy was cooped up in his apartment alone when he looked out of his window and noticed a girl dancing on the roof of a building next to his own house.  He waved at the girl who waved back and Jeremy, who hasn't been on a date in at least a year, took his drone and attached a piece of paper to it with his phone number and "Text Me" written on it.

The rest is now history as they say.  The video below explains what happened next.

Adapted from:
www.facebook.com
www.boredpanda.com
www.jermcohen.com

A Nigerian Lady has Allegedly Committed Suicide; the Reason Will Shock You

A 30-year-old lady named Ajoke Oreoluwa (Mojisola Salaudeen) has allegedly committed suicide  yesterday.  Ajoke, a very beautiful woman, committed the act when she heard her husband is doing a naming ceremony with another woman who allegedly got pregnant for him and subsequently became his 3rd wife..  A mother of 2 boys Abdulsamad and AbdulSabur aged 3 and 1, Ajoke is reportedly a 2nd wife.

The husband, one Fatomide Abass Ayobami who wrote, "RIP Fatomide Rukayyat Mojisola my lovely wife its painful but the will of Allah is inevitable you will forever be in my heart Aljannat is urs", is reportedly a chronic womanizer.

Ajoke's comment in a post a few weeks back alluding to that fact reads: "All this men are dogs I can imagine many are mad few r roaming the 47 years old father of my children is worst than a dog to the extent of he has different group chats of oloshos some girls were fighting over him they both work in same hotel".

My take is, do not give what you can't take.  And if you found, with time, that things are not working out, please take a walk.

My prayers are with the innocent kids who will live to grow without a mother's love

Things to do to Make Others Value You

Do you sometimes wonder why people tend not to value you or what you do for them even when you give them the best of you? Do you wonder why they seem to think you have endless amounts of time to do whatever it is they want you to do for them?  Could it be that there are things you do which are absolutely not wrong but only serve to enforce how others see and treat you?

Possibility is on the high side that you may be lacking that little thing called self-respect. Self-respect is akin to self-love - that little gift we lavish on ourselves that empowers us to be less motivated to ALWAYS want to please others at all cost.  There is nothing wrong with doing things to please others; what is wrong is when the 'others' won't lift a finger in an attempt reciprocate.

Treading the path of self-love is not an easy journey to embark on.  However, the emotional trauma associated with being taken for granted is not something you can permanently live with, either. Therefore, there are a few important things you can start doing to help you in your attempt at self-love.



1.  Stop looking for who does not look for you.

2.  Reduce how you visit some people, especially if the do not visit you in return.

3.  Do not go where you are not invited.  And when invited, do not overstay your welcome.

4.  Do not always be available.  Be scarce sometimes.

5.  Treat people exactly the way they deserve to be treated.

6.  Do not call anyone more than 3 times at intervals; if the value you they will return your call.

7.  Always think you are special too.  Do not lose yourself in the process of placing more value on another more than yourself.

8.  Do not waste effort in making someone a part of you who obviously are not making any efforts on their part to meet you even if it is halfway.

9.  Take care of your own needs first.

10.  Learn to say "No" sometimes. You won't die.

In conclusion, having boundaries for every facet of your life is the best description for self-love.  Knowing when to say "enough" to what doesn't grow you is a huge step towards self-love.

How to Make Yourself Stay Faithful to Your Partner

Both men and women cheat in relationships. But it is a known fact that more men are more prone to cheat on their partners than women. But the point is not about who cheats more or who doesn't.  In the long run, someone gets terribly hurt where cheating occurs. Therefore, the significance of avoiding it cannot be overemphasized.

We are all wired differently, that is why, while it is easy for some people to fight the urge to cheat, others simply can't resist the temptation.  Below are some tips that could help you stay faithful to your partner.

Don't Try Denying the Feeling:  Start by accepting that you may feel attracted to someone other than your partner. Whether it's a pretty woman/handsome man at the gym or a cute co-worker, it is normal to feel attracted to other people and even fantasize about them. But while you can look at whoever you want, it is important to separate fantasy from reality. Do not make the feeling a reality.

Do not put yourself in a position where you may be tempted to cheat. If you feel sexually attracted to someone, for example, a work colleague, or you run into an Ex you still have feelings for, never meet them alone at the office, a restaurant, a secluded location or at their home.

Weigh the Pros and Cons of your actions:  Recognize that cheating on your partner would deeply hurt them and may even spell the end of your relationship because only few relationships survive infidelity. So try putting their feelings before yours, or try placing yourself in their position, you may recognize that cheating on your partner is not worth the pain it may cause them to feel or even worth your entire relationship.

Determination:  Determine never to cheat no matter how strong the desire to is.  Giving in to cheating is like having eggs at home and ordering same at an eatery.  Whether it is fried or boiled, in the long run what you will consume is egg.  You leave eggs at home to have eggs elsewhere - ask yourself what's the point.

Communication: Ask them how their day at work was or what they want to do over the weekend. If you need to talk about deeper subjects, don't be afraid to share them with your partner. Having an open communication system with your partner will help you maintain a strong bond with each other.

Keep the Fire of Romance Burning:  Keep the romance in your relationship alive. For example, prepare a romantic dinner for your partner one night. Cook them their favorite meal and surround the table with candles and flowers. After you are finished eating, prepare them a bubble bath and gently stroke their hair as they relax. When you are intimate with your partner, you are showing them that you love to be around them.

E Don Happen.... What Won't Chatting on the Phone Cause?

A Saudi Arabian bride was divorced by her husband just within minutes of their marriage because she was too busy chatting with her friends on her phone to consummate the marriage.

The groom took his bride back to their hotel room after the ceremony in the city of Jeddah, but apparently felt ignored when he tried to get intimate with her and was pushed away by his wife because she was trying to respond to congratulatory messages from friends on her phone.  A relative told Saudi daily Al Watan on May 17, 2016.

The relative said:

"Following the marriage ceremony, the groom took his bride to the hotel where they had booked a room."

"However, as soon as the bride was in the room, she kept using her mobile.  Her groom tried to get closer with her and become more intimate, but he was shocked when she ignored him, not responding to his words and action.  When he asked her about the reasons, she answered that she was busy communicating with her friends who were congratulating her on her marriage on the mobile.  The groom asked her to delay the messages, but she refused and became angry.  When he asked her if her friends were more important than he was, the bride answered that they were."

A Woman Files for Divorce Because Her Husbands Penis is "Too Big".

Hmmm.... so it's not really true that "the bigger the size, the better".

According to media reports, a woman named A'isha Dannupawa has filed for divorce citing the large size of her husband's penis as the reason.

A'isha, a mother of three kids, from a previous marriage, filed for divorce a week into her marriage to new husband Ali Maizinari. She complained that the size of his manhood was too large and described having sex as a nightmare.

"We had sex but the experience was a nightmare; instead of enjoying it, the sex turned out to be something else because his penis was too big," she told the court.

Their divorce was granted in an Islamic Court in Zamfara State, Nigeria.

Maizinari did not deny the accusation and told the court he was willing to dissolve the union if the cost incurred for dowry and other money spent during the courtship was paid back.

Here's What Chris Brown Says About Rumoured Couple Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio

Chris Brown has something to say about the idea of his ex-girlfriend Rihanna cozying up to actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

When Brown, 25, was asked about the rumored romance between his former flame and the A-lister on New York radio station Hot 97, the R&B star didn't get awkward at all. Instead, he laughed good-naturedly. "Ain't nowhere else you could've went though," he said. "High five. You had to go up, and that's the upper, upper echelon. I'm not even a hater. I'll give you a slap on the back, booty, everything... 'Hey, do your thing. Good game.'"

Related: Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio Spent Valentine's Day in the Same Place

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Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio (Getty Images)

Brown added, "In that situation, I just tip my hat. I'm not a hater. I'm not envious. I don't feel jealous... I'm like, do your thing. I can't have it all, brotha. I can't have it all." Brown has dated Karrueche Tran — whom he called "K" in the interview — off and on for more than three years.

While Brown seemed to be in a talkative mood during the interview, afterward was a different story.

"Don't ask me about Drake or Rihanna. Anything u need to hear is in all our music. #500," he tweeted, according to E! News, although he seems to have deleted it later. "I've given the world enough opinions. I'm not doing no more interviews unless it's about my art or music. It's nothing else anyone needs."

Source: Yahoo! News

Maried Women in Kaduna, Nigeria, Protest Lack of Sex!

A group of women from the Rido community in Kaduna State, took to the streets on Wednesday, February 19, 2015 to publicly complain about their husband’s sexual weakness, asking that they start performing their matrimonial duties or face mass divorce.

The women, who were assembled at the NDA Junction in the state capital, blamed the Kaduna Refining and Petrochemical Company (KRPC) for their husband’s inability to perform as a result of the chemical waste and fumes from the company into their environment.

Speaking to newsmen during the protest, some of the  married women complained bitterly that some of the men in the Mararaba Rido community were impotent due to the toxic waste from the KRPC.

They revealed that their husbands suffer weak erection and infertility, while the women suffer miscarriage and other health complications.

A married woman, Jummai Isaac, 27, said she has not taken in since she got married in the year 2000.

“I haven’t conceived since I got married in the last fourteen years, and doctors have, on several occasions, confirmed to me absence of any known cause of inability to get pregnant.

Initially, doctors thought I had fibroid in my womb, but after several scans and some medical tests, they dispelled that notion.”

However, a community leader, Mohammed Bashar, explained that, “Most of the complaints could be associated with secondary infertility, because victims have, in the past, given birth to children before they suddenly stopped.

There was widespread belief that smoke and poisonous gases emitted from the refinery have reproductive health effect on people living in the area, but no medical report has confirmed the allegation due to inability of villagers to seek comprehensive medical tests, perhaps owing to lack of awareness and poverty.”

Indian Tycoon Throws Mass Wedding for Fatherless Women

An Indian diamond trader has thrown a mass wedding ceremony for 111 fatherless women and given each one gifts worth thousands of dollars, saying giving a bride away was "sacred".

Mahesh Savani said the women, whose families were all too poor to finance their weddings, saw him as their foster father.

The 44-year-old said he had given each one gifts of gold and other items worth 450,000 rupees ($7,250) to start their married lives, as well as paying for the wedding.

"Material gifts are not important, but I have given my name to them and will fulfil all my responsibilities as a father of the bride for the rest of my life," he told AFP before the ceremony was held at a school in Gujarat state on Sunday.

Savani, who has now organised the weddings of 251 women, said he began his charitable campaign in 2008 when one of his own staff members died.

"I was very shocked when one of my employees died just 12 days before he could marry off his two daughters. It was very difficult for the family to arrange for marriage," he said.

"So I decided that I would become their foster father and marry them off. This is how it began," Savani said.

It is not known how much the giant ceremony wedding cost, but Indian weddings are famous for their grand scale with multi-course feasts, decorated horses, brass bands and huge tents arranged to entertain hundreds or even thousands of guests.

Source: Yahoo!

14 Signs He's Only Interested in Sex

1. He only texts you after 1 a.m. It’s a scientific fact that all booty calls happen after 1 a.m. All those cars you see driving around after 12:59? People out in the streets past 1? They’re all on their way to a booty call. 

2. He gets frustrated when you invite him over to watch a movie and actually just want to watch a movie. Most guys would be like, “Alright, cool. If I can’t have sex, I guess actually getting to watch the entirety of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is a pretty good consolation prize.” But when you swat away his thigh-climbing hand he’s suddenly tired and has to go home. 

3. You never meet his friends. The less information you have about him, the easier it is for him to ghost you. If you don’t know who he hangs out with, or where he lives, or what his last name is, he can disappear like a phantom into the night. A phantom who banged you a bunch of times and then stopped answering texts, which would make for a shittier Broadway play than the kind of phantom that hangs out in operas. But a phantom nonetheless. 

4. He makes it really hard for you to sleep over. He never straight-up says you have to leave (That wouldn’t get him a next hookup!) but he always has a “thing” really early the next morning. A “thing with friends” or “a work thing” or “some family thing.” You know families don’t have picnics at 5 a.m. though. 

5. He always hands you everything before you leave. Did you forget your bra? Some lipstick? Your purse? A single bobby pin? If you never forget anything there, you can never have an excuse to show up when he doesn’t want you to. If you tried to show up unsolicited anyway, you’d probably find the place abandoned and boarded up, and some neighbor would tell you, “Why, that place has been abandoned for years!” like some episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark. 

6. You’ve never been on a real date.Dates are for men who consider themselves boyfriends, not men who consider themselves fuck buddies. 

7. He always insists on splitting the cost of the post-coital pizza you ordered. If one of you doesn’t pay for the pizza, it can’t be considered a date. He will follow #6 if it kills him. 

8. He’s “busy” whenever you text him about something personal or emotional. Who has time to pause his game of Madden to talk to you about things like how you feel? If your text about your grandma passing away isn’t attached to a sexy picture, he won’t even bother opening it. Guys who just want you for sex aren’t going to spend time playing the boyfriend.

9. He always tries to initiate sex when you hang out. An easy way to tell the difference between guys who like having sex with you a lot and guys who only like having sex with you is this: Think back to a time when the two of you were together but weren’t having sex for more than an hour. If you can’t do that, he only wants you for sex.

10. The only thing he’s ever bought you that could be considered romantic is a vibrating cock ring. He was like, “Hey, I have a surprise for you,” and you could hear a faint vibration, and he dropped his pants and honestly expected you to be pumped about it.

11. Every conversation turns flirty/sexual. Every time you talk or text, it immediately turns into a conversation about having sex. He’s stopped even trying to be witty about it. “Oh, you’re at the grocery store right now? I sure would like to have sex with you … at the grocery store ;-)” 

12. He texts you to meet up with a group, but wants to go back to your place/his place as soon as you get there. You might think you’re about to meet all of his friends at some bar, but when you get there, he’s already waiting outside with his coat and some condoms.

13. He only compliments your looks. He loves your ass but not your sense of humor. You always look “hot” but never “gorgeous.” If his compliments are superficial at best and gross at worst, he’s Just Not That Into You Starring Justin Long and Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck and That Chick From Once Upon a Time.

14. When he comes over, he heads straight for the bedroom. There’s no loitering in the kitchen or hanging out in the living room with this guy. He has streamlined the process of sex-having by eliminating or minimizing the chitchat or talk about your day. He’s like the Philip Glass of booty calls (that was a joke about the minimalist art movement that someone’s dad will probably find funny). 

– Frank Kobola/Cosmopolitan US

10 Reasons to Not Date a Married Man

There are no positive reasons for dating a married man. Even the good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in good ideas' clothing. He’ll NEVER stay that into you, regardless of what you foolish women believe. If you find yourself on the brink of temptation, look at these 10 truths before you leap:

1. He won't commit to a future with you. A man who is in a very unhappy or unsatisfying marriage can feel swept away by how wonderful you make him feel. He may even blurt out, "I've never felt this way before and I can see spending the rest of my life with you." This may sound like a commitment to a future with you. It's not. Don't confuse his loving the way you make him feel with his loving you and making a commitment to you.

2. Cheating on his wife tells you how he deals with any situation he doesn't like. You are evidence of his avoiding dealing with unpleasant situations head on. This means that he's likely to resort to some devious behavior with you if the two of you encounter relationship problems.

3. Hiding is exhausting. Having to keep your relationship a secret can attack your self-esteem and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. Walking together freely and radiantly through the world can fill you with the glow of being with someone who is proud to be with you.

4. He's got his cake and is eating it, too. He has a legitimate married relationship that helps his public persona and he has an illegitimate one with you to make up for what hes missing in his marriage. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least.

5. Can you love someone who is so disrespectful of his wife? The existence of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her he wants out.

6. Lose his respect and it's over. Even though he's the one who pursued you. Even though he's the one that made it difficult to say "No." And even though he tells you how wonderful you are. At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. What kind of woman would demean herself that way and why would anyone ever keep such an obviously flawed individual in their life? Think about it ladies, you will always be the one to come off looking cheap and not worth keeping.

7. You're a home wrecker, and an accomplice. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife -- not to mention grossly disappointing his children and making it difficult for them to see him as a role model.

8. You're kidding yourself. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words.

9. Beware the guilt boomerang. Many men (and women) have difficulty accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall.

10. Time is too precious to waste. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time -- and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing. When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair.

By Mark Goulston, M.D., F.A.P.A. 

5 Unbelievable Wedding Traditions from Around the World

CHINA

If You Thought You Were a Crier ...

Brides and females of the Tujia people in China take wedding tears to a whole different level. Starting one month in advance the bride starts to cry for one hour everyday. Ten days into the waterworks extravaganza her mother joins the picture, and 10 days after that grandma does the same. By the end of the month every female in the family is crying alongside the bride. The tradition is believed to be an expression of joy, as the women weep in different tones, reminiscent of a song. Coincidentally enough, this is exactly how we sound when listening to Joni Mitchell.

SWEDEN

Hope You're Not the Jealous Type ...

In Sweden, whenever the bride leaves the table to run to the powder room, all the ladies at the reception are free to steal a kiss from the groom! Luckily (we guess?), Sweden keeps the tradition gender-neutral so whenever the groom leaves the room, all surrounding gentleman are free to plant a peck on the bride. If you think this sounds like an episode of The Bachelor you're not alone.

IRELAND

Better Keep Those Feet Firmly Planted ...

In Ireland when the bride and groom are dancing the bride must keep both feet on the floor at all times. Irish folklore states that if they don't, evil fairies will come and sweep her away. We imagine that this might make dancing slightly difficult ...

MARQUESAS ISLANDS

Here's Hoping the Bride and Groom Were Shedding for the Wedding ...

On the Marquesas Islands of French Polynesia, once the wedding has come to an end the relatives of the bride lay side-by-side face down on the ground whilst the bride and groom walk over them like a human rug. Just, ouch.

INDIA

If You're Shoe-Crazy This One's for You ...

In parts of India, there is a wedding tradition called "Joota Chupai" or "hiding the shoes." Initially this sounds like something we could get behind - some shoes are worth lusting after - but the tradition is a little more complicated than your simple Winona Ryder grab and go. While walking to the altar the groom is required to take off his shoes. Once they're off, everyone from the groom's side of the family is expected to protect the shoe as the bride's family tries to steal and hide them. The tradition is said to be a playful bonding experience between the families. We say, if the shoes are cute, game on.

Mother and Daughter Fight Over Boyfriend in Delta State, Nigeria

Like, seriously?

A middle aged woman, identified simply as Monica, and her daughter have engaged in what can only be described as a show of shame after they fought in public over a man.

The trouble was said to have started when the mother was caught in bed with her 17-year-old daughter’s boyfriend.

The mother allegedly snatched the daughter's boyfriend who is said to be working in one of the oil companies in Warri.

The situation, which happened around the St. Brigid's Girls' College axis of Asaba, the Delta State capital, then deteriorated into a public fight with the duo creating a scene.

The mother and daughter were said to have exchanged blows and engaged in name calling in an incident which was witnessed by passers-by and deemed an embarrassment by a family member of the duo involved.

Crucial Things ALL Men Need to Know About Women

THE POWER OF A WOMAN

Women are a precious gift from God but there are some things that all men need to know. Women are by far the deeper and more powerful of the two sexes. No matter how strong a man thinks he is, he is like butter in the hands of a woman that he loves. It is only a woman that can carry a child for nine months and raise that child to adulthood and yet until the day that that woman dies only she will know the real father of that child. Women are more discerning than men, more calculating, more thoughtful, more spiritual, more loyal, and more disciplined and they can handle emotional pain and psychological torture far better than men. A woman can suffer trauma, deprivation, shame, sheer cruelty and beatings from a man and still stay with him simply for the sake of the children. A woman can do anything and take anything for, or from, a man that she truly loves. A woman can be the most vicious and dangerous of all God's creatures when she is hurt and scorned and when her love is not returned.

A woman in a position of power can be a dangerous thing because more often than not she is motivated by emotion and not reason or logic. If wars were to be fought by women they would never end. The greatest weapon that the devil has in his armoury are the daughters of Jezebel and Dalilah, those beautiful yet evil seducers whose mission in life is to destroy men that are called to greatness by God. The greatest weapon that God has in his arsenal are the daughters of Zion, those beautiful, wise, prayerful, discerning, prudent, patient, kind, loyal women who are faithful unto death and who are the enforcers and guardians of God's purpose in the lives of men.

A woman can kill a man that she has lived with all her life, simply because he never returned her love and a woman can kill for or die for a man who loves her and stands by her through thick and thin. If you are rich, pretend that you are poor to a woman and you will know her true nature. If you are poor, pretend that you are rich to a woman and you will know what she is really after. A woman that abandons a man when he is going through difficulties is not worth taking back when those challenges have been overcome. Beware of a woman's love, for at the slightest hurt, it can turn to hate. Women gossip and talk, yet a woman keeps deeper secrets than any man.

When a woman says "no" she actually means "maybe" and when she says "maybe" she actually means "yes". A woman that betrays or seeks to destroy, ridicule or shame her husband or lover destroys and diminishes her own spirit and wounds her own soul; not only is she not worthy of being loved by any, but she is not the material for a man of destiny, she is not of the stuff that true women are made. A great king with a great army can overrun nations and yet can be mastered and overwhelmed by the mere touch and whisperings of a loving woman. The love of Helen of Troy caused the launch of a thousand ships and the love of any woman can cause a man to slaughter. Women are a gift from God to men, but like all gifts they must be pampered, loved and given all your attention otherwise they begin to look elsewhere for such nourishment and care. Out of every specie of animal ever created by God, it is always the female gender of that animal that is the most vicious and dangerous and yet it is also the female of that specie that protects and raises the offspring in loving care.

You cannot police a woman or really know her movements for she can be the greatest deceiver: if she really wants to play, she will go ahead and play and no matter the efforts that her man makes, it is only by divine intervention that he will ever know. A woman is moved by touch whilst a man is moved by sight. A woman will die for her children and guard her home with all she has. A woman craves for security and commitment above all else and without these two she cannot truly be happy. A woman gives, a woman takes, a woman laughs, a woman cries, yet through all this only she alone knows what is really in her heart. A woman can heave and moan in the throes of orgasmic passion, yet deep down she feels nothing at all but pity and contempt for the lover that she is deceiving. A woman can lie still and say she feels nothing yet her heart trembles and races and her senses come alive and quiver deeply just at the sound and by the touch of the man that she truly desires. That is a woman for you: they can be a snare or a blessing. They can bring joy or pain. They can wound or they can heal. They are a beautiful contradiction of love and hate and we men simply cannot live without them.

A woman can only appreciate a man after she has been with another. A woman will make you feel that you are in charge yet with sweet words and with guile and cunning she silently controls everything and everyone around you. Women are the shield, the defender and the foundation of the home. Even as the man is the head, the woman is the neck without which it would fall. The greatest mistake that any man could ever make is to underestimate or treat with levity the power of a woman. For it is only a dullard or a fool that could honestly believe that he can confine a woman to having babies and to simply cooking in the kitchen. A woman is irrepressable, unbeatable,unfathomable, irresistable and unknowable and my advice to every man is to cherish her, to love her and to grant her, her hearts deepest desires. That is the secret to a woman's heart and what more is there to say, other than for us to admit that the woman is the true hero of our lives and to simply agree that we must appease and worship them and do all we can to keep those pretty smiles on their beautiful yet dangerous faces.

By Femi Fani-Kayode

It's Love...! Okay, No, It's Lust...! Oh, No, It's Love...(?)!

Lust and love are two completely different emotions that come to play interchangeably in relationships.  It is common to think one is in love while in fact one is in lust. Are you confused and don't know whether it's love or lust? Below is how to find out.

1. YOU LIKE BEING AROUND THEM

It's likely to be love than lust if, when you’re together, you’re on "cloud nine". You just love and enjoy spending time together and you crave their company. Being around them makes you happy, even if you’re just sitting at home on the couch watching a movie.

2. TIME TOGETHER ISN'T SO IMPORTANT

It's not so far from lust if you only spend time with them when it’s convenient for you. When you get spend time together it’s just whatever. There’s no substance behind the time you spend together, and if anything you’re only in it for the physicality of it all. While you may enjoy time with them, you don’t enjoy it for the right reasons.

3. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, ALWAYS

It's love if you find them attractive no matter what they are wearing or how they've been. When they're dressed up for work or wearing sweats and a t-shirt and lounging on the couch, you find them just as attractive. When you love someone, you also love their looks no matter what time it is or what they’re wearing.

4. THEY ARE ONLY EYE CANDY

It's definitely lust if you only find him to be attractive on the days they are dressed up and looking to impress. Other days you know that you want them strictly for their body and nothing more. They are good looking, toned, and fit, and that’s what you really like most about them.

5. YOU PAY GREAT ATTENTION WHEN THEY TALK

It's love when you two are at dinner or at home having a conversation you’re tuned in 100%. You take in all of their words, thoughts, and feelings, digest and take them into consideration. When you really care about a someone, you’ll notice that you become a great listener and communicator when around them.

6. YOU COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS

It's lust if, when they talk to you about their day or a recent rough patch that they've hit, your ears and mind quickly go elsewhere. When the talk about things aside from you and the time you spend together, you’re just completely uninterested. You don’t make effort to communicate with them or listen to what they have to say because you’re more than likely in lust.

7. YOU FEEL OTHER THINGS FOR THEM

Love and lust are both emotions but when you’re in lust, there’s an absence of other emotions. When you’re in love you care about the person you’re with. You worry about their safety and you start trusting and confiding in them. When other emotions begin to take centre stage, definitely love is in the air.

8. IT’S ALL PHYSICAL

When it all comes down to it, you realize that everything is pretty much physical. You don’t have a lot of feelings for them. You don’t care how their day went at work. You’re most worried about when they’ll be in your bed next or when you’ll be in theirs. This is a pure sign of lust.

9. YOU ARE IN CONSTANT COMMUNICATION

It's love if you love to keep in touch with them. Whenever you are apart, you find yourself reaching out to them throughout the day in order to check up on them and see how things are going. Staying in constant communication with them during the day is extremely important to you. If talking to them really makes your day, then it's love.

10. TALKING TO THEM ISN'T THAT ESSENTIAL

It's lust if you only talk to them when it’s convenient for you or if going without talking for a couple of days or even a week is no big deal to you. You like seeing them but it’s not extremely important to you at the end of the day. If you don’t feel the need to reach out to them or say a word to them throughout the day then you’re simply in lust.

Why I Cheated on My Husband

The first question that comes to mind when a spouse cheats is: Why? A recent study by the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, attempted to answer that question and found that the reasons behind infidelity differ greatly between the sexes. For men, it's typically about the sex-the more sexually excitable they are, the more likely they are to cheat. For women, it's more about the level of satisfaction in her relationship; if a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she's 2.6 times more likely to cheat. Regardless of the reason, there's one thing that's certain: infidelity is devastating. But there can be a silver lining. "In many cases, it forces issues to the surface of a relationship that would have never otherwise been dealt with," says Kevin Hansen, author of Secret Regrets: What if You Had a Second Chance? Read on to discover what life lessons these five women gained through their personal experiences with infidelity-and what you can learn from their stories.

"My husband was abusive." 

"From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake," says 50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* "He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him." A little over a year into the marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with. "I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was-not who he wanted me to be," she says. "The affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life independent of my husband. It also gave me the courage to ask for a divorce. Twenty-five years later, I'm married to a wonderful man. We love making each other happy, and never try to change who the other person is," she says. 

What You Can Learn: While the confidence gained from the affair may have given her the spark she needed to get out of a bad relationship, New York City psychologist Michael E. Silverman, PhD, says if you're in an abusive relationship, deception isn't the best way to deal with it. Get help first from a trusted friend, family member, therapist or one of the numerous nationwide resources instead.

"We began to resent each other."

When Vanessa Myers*, 28, married her husband six years ago, they both couldn't wait to have children, but after their wedding day something changed for her. "I started to really love my job, and kids didn't seem to fit into the picture," she says. Her husband was hurt by her change of heart, and began to resent her. "We started fighting a lot, and I resented him for resenting me and we were just constantly hurting each other," she says. "One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life." Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat. "I met a guy online and we dated for about a year," she says. "It ended when my husband caught me." Vanessa and her husband agreed to seek therapy separately and together, and were able to save their marriage. "The biggest lesson I learned was that if I was unhappy in my marriage, my husband was only 50% to blame. [Having] an affair gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted in my marriage," she says.   

What You Can Learn: While what her husband did may be shocking, the fact that there was unaddressed anger in the relationship created fertile ground for an affair, says Dr. Silverman. "Coupled with the lack of sexual intimacy there was nothing left to hang a relationship on," he says Even though the affair helped Vanessa learn some valuable lessons and the relationship was ultimately saved, Dr. Silverman stresses the importance of open and honest communication in a relationship as a way for a couple to stay connected-before one of the spouses seeks comfort or intimacy outside of the marriage.

"I was bored and unhappy." 

At 35-years-old, Barbara Gisborne was living the American dream. She lived in Madison, Wisconsin, with her loving husband and two children-but she was miserable. "My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out," she says. "In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole." That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. "We had an instant connection. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system," she says. "Instead, I fell in love." She left everything she knew-her hometown, her husband, her job and her country-to start her life over with Bob in Australia. "I became strong, independent, confident and much worldlier," she says. "That was 25 years ago and now I can say that my affair was the turning point in my life's journey. Today, Bob and I are married, own a winery in Australia, and have five children and 10 grandchildren between us." 

What You Can Learn: Though Barbara's story ended up with a "happily ever after," that's not always the case when it comes to infidelity, which is why Dr. Silverman suggests looking inside yourself if you're unhappy or bored with your relationship. "Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and feeling bored is a symptom of relationship stagnation. Rather than having an affair, increase the romance, change habitual patterns within the relationship and communicate more about your feelings and needs." If you just need a change of pace, try booking an exotic vacation with your husband or girlfriends, or discuss moving to a new city and starting over.

"My husband was a workaholic." 

For 10 years, 49-year-old Barbara Singer created a life independent of her husband because he was never around. "Gary was totally consumed and exhausted by his work-there was nothing left for me," she says. "I was totally committed to my family and gave it my all, but knew in my heart that I certainly did not want this for the rest of my life." One night, she met up with Tom, an acquaintance, and ended up staying out all night with him. Within a few weeks of meeting him, she ended her marriage, and two years later, she and Tom were married. But within a month, he died of a heart attack. "Meeting Tom was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. He came into my life and woke me up, showing me…that life is precious and that at any given moment, it can all be taken away, so if I have a dream or a goal, I better get moving on it," she says. 

What You Can Learn: "Barbara felt alone for many years, and feeling disconnected from your partner is the genesis of most of the affairs I see in my practice," says Dr. Silverman. The remedy? Speak up and begin a dialogue with your partner. Engaging in open, honest communication about your needs with your husband is the key to help a stalled marriage. To find out more about Barbara's story, go to LivingWithoutReservations.com.

"He was unfaithful first." 

Larie Norvell had only been married about a year when she found out that her husband had cheated on her. "I was very angry, but I was also very hurt, because I felt like I wasn't enough for him-like there was something I wasn't doing for him as his wife, which is why he felt the need to go outside of our marriage," says the 33-year-old. That jumble of mixed emotions was the impetus for her affair. "I cheated on him-mostly for revenge, but in retrospect it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men," she says. Once her affair was discovered, the couple separated for a few months-but then began to seek counseling and were able to salvage their marriage. 

What You Can Learn: Retribution is a common feeling when someone has been betrayed, says Dr. Silverman. "Anger can be quite powerful in clouding one's judgment," he says, which is why he urges any couple dealing with infidelity to seek counseling. Fortunately for Larie, her relationship endured the double deception. "The biggest lesson we've learned through all the struggles in 14½ years is that we are enough for each other," she says.

*Names have been changed to protect identity. 

Culled from Yahoo! Shine

Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas Divorcing

Melanie and Antonio at the premier of Desperado in 1995

Another Hollywood marriage bites the dust.

 

Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas are going their separate ways after 18 years of marriage. According to TMZ, the actress filed for divorce from Banderas, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split. They have a daughter, Stella, aged 17.

 

In documents obtained by TMZ, Griffith, 56, asks for child support and sole physical and joint legal custody of the couple's daughter. She also asks for spousal support in the documents, which were filed by attorney to the stars Laura Wasser.

 

Married since 1996, the Working Girl star and Banderas, 53, have battled breakup rumors for years. And they've certainly had their share of ups and downs -- most notably when Griffith went to rehab to be treated for an addiction to painkillers.

 

Griffith and Banderas first met on the set of Two Much in 1995 when they were married to other people.

10 Things Women Who Get Cheated On Have in Common

If your man is a philanderer, it's probably not your fault. But if you've gotten hurt by a player more than once-or you know someone who has-you'll want to check out what top relationship experts say could be part of the reason.

 

1. You were "cheated on" by your father.

If your dad abandoned the family, was abusive, or didn't pay much attention to you, it often triggers a cycle, notes Jeanette Raymond, PhD., a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles, CA. "You expect the same from every man." Dr. Raymond recalls one couple who was happy until he started socializing more with his co-workers. She grew very possessive, and started checking his phone. Even when he was out with his brother, she assumed he was cheating. "She felt as if he didn't care about her, just like her father," says Dr. Raymond. Her partner eventually did cheat on her, he admitted, to make her back off. Women stuck in this cycle need to mourn the loss of what didn't happen as a child and let it go. "Try looking at the facts, not just your feelings," suggests Dr. Raymond." 

2. You mistake attraction for love. 

Attraction just happens. Love is something that builds over time and takes work. Sure, attraction can lead to love. But not always. "Female-to-male attraction works the same whether you're 16, 36 or 56," says Scot Conway, PhD, relationship coach and author of Emotional Genius. "A top attractive quality in a man is when he doesn't need your approval." Men who don't need a commitment tend to have extreme self-confidence. "If you understand that attraction is one thing and love is something else, and the first doesn't always lead to the second, you have a massive advantage," says Dr. Conway.

 

3. You're attracted to the "wrong" guys. 

Women who get burned again and again are overlooking the good guys. "The classic friend zone is where many of the best partners end up," explains Dr. Conway. Why? Nice men can try too hard to impress you, which can be a turn-off. Sometimes what women want "is a bad guy they can change," explains Dr. Raymond. So have a two-date rule: Give a guy a fair shake before you dismiss him. How do you know you've found a man who could really be there for you? "You can tell him anything without feeling embarrassed or that you'll scare him off," shares Dr. Raymond. "And he accepts you the way you are." 

 

4. You're not really into sex anymore. 

No getting around it: sex is really important to men. If you're just "going through the motions" and having sex you're not enjoying, he might feel rejected and consider cheating. "Think of outings when he clearly doesn't want to be there. After a while, you'd just as soon not go out. It's the same with sex," explains Dr. Conway. Try talking to him and telling him what you like and what feels good. "If you are not there to fulfill the needs of your partner, those needs don't just go away. If it is something you don't want someone else there for, you be there."  

 

5. You're your worst critic. 

If you're insecure about your body and often complain about it, he will start to see you through your eyes. Many of us do this more than we realize. "Do these jeans make me look fat? Do you think I'm gaining weight? I hate my cellulite. My boobs are getting droopy…You've got to stop!" says Laurel House, relationship expert and founder of ScrewingTheRules.com. "Let your guy view you as the gorgeous gem that you are. Act confidently. Embrace your body regardless of its shape and age."

6. You give up your independence. 

"Some women give themselves so completely to the relationship that their partners feel uncomfortable and 'bought'," observes Dr. Raymond. And the irony is that in trying so hard to bolster the relationship, you become less like the woman he was originally attracted to. If you lose yourself in a man-canceling plans to be with him, only listening to the music he likes, posting only pictures of the two of you on Facebook-the man can feel trapped. And when one feels trapped, the instinct is to get free. "And they do that by cheating, because it's an easy way out," explains Dr. Raymond.

7. You believe sweet talkers are sweet guys. 

Women who don't trust their gut when there are warning signs, are more apt to be cheated on. "I have a patient who is involved with a total jerk. But he wrote her a long letter, which she looked at as 'his putting into words what he couldn't say in person,'" says Jane Greer, PhD, New York-based relationship expert and author of How Could You Do This to Me? Learning to Trust After Betrayal. Women who are easy marks for cheaters tend to be moved by showy displays of affection. The guys quickly figure out that "those will suffice to keep them connected and take her attention away from what's actually going on," notes Dr. Greer. "Rather than taking him at his word, go by his behavior, because often that's the real him," she suggests.

 

8. You're a Workaholic. 

If you're working extremely long hours, or are unavailable, he'll feel neglected, says Dr. Greer. If the circumstances can't be avoided, compensate during your downtime. Even if you only have one day a week free, use that day to prioritize your relationship. Make every Saturday night, say, a non-negotiable date to snuggle on the couch with a movie. Talking openly and frequently about when you might need to be unavailable and how long you expect it to go on is essential. If you don't, over time, he may act on the "abandonment" by cheating.

 

9. You don't take pride in your appearance.  

 We know what you're thinking: Like he's Jared Leto? But hear us out. Not taking care of yourself at all sends your man a message: Leave me alone, says Carole Lieberman, MD, author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. Guys can translate your lack of interest in feeling and looking your best as lack of interest in them, a blow to their self-esteem. That same "you're not worth it" message can be sent when boundaries disappear too. "Women who get cheated often started using the toilet, farting, and waxing their upper lip in front of him," adds House.

 

10. You put the kids first. Always. 

If you never give your husband first dibs on your time, he's going to wish he was with somebody who thought he was important. By first dibs, we mean, sticking to date night plans even though your daughter was just invited to a sleep-over, needs a ride and is having an "all my pajamas are ugly!" meltdown. "An assumption among women who are cheated on is that their relationship can wait until the kids are older and things 'get easier,'" notes Antoniette Coleman, Psychotherapist/Relationship Coach in McLean, VA. It can't. "Break this cycle by learning to be 'a good enough mom,'" urges Coleman. "Send store-bought cupcakes to the bake sale, volunteer at school once a month instead of once a week, let the kids have downtime instead of scheduling every moment of their day. You'll free up energy for yourself and your spouse."

 

By Christina Vercelletto